


A New Role

by 13Reaper



Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Daddy Pickles, Growing Up, Pickles has a Last Name, Snakes N' Barrels, metalocalypse season 1, metalocalypse season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22118644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13Reaper/pseuds/13Reaper
Summary: Pickles is forced to take on a new role in his life.(Metalocalypse is owned by Brendon Small and Tommy Blacha. Metalocalypse OCs are owned by me).
Relationships: Charles Foster Offdensen/Original Female Character(s), Nathan Explosion/Pickles the Drummer
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want me to make more of this. Sorry for any errors, my hand is still healing.

It was a normal Saturday afternoon for Pickles the Drummer. The Dethklok's drummer was in the built-in hot tub of the Mordhaus with a glass of his favorite cocktail in hand, relaxing and closing his eyes.  
Charles appeared behind the drummer and cleared his throat. "Uh, Pickles, may I see you in my office for a minute?"  
Pickles opened his eyes and groaned. "Really? I'm trying to relax."  
"Pickles, this is important," Charles stated.  
Pickles huffed and gave in. "Fine. Give me 10 minutes."  
Charles nodded and walked away, leaving a grumpy drummer to get out of the tub to dry off and put on some clothes.

~~~~~~~

Pickles, in his bathrobe, knocked on his agent's office door. "What is it?" He paused when he saw a young red-haired girl drawing on some paper at Charles' desk while sitting on a suited woman's lap.  
"Pickles, this is Snow McBike from the CPS in New York City," announced Charles. "She's here with some news for you."  
"Okay?" Pickles sat down in the second chair that was in front of Charles' desk.  
"Mr. Byrne," Snow began. "Four years ago, you impregnated a groupie named Pepper Johnston, age: 20, when your band was in New York City." Pickles tried to recall, but couldn't. He let her continued. "Miss Johnston gave birth to a daughter. Unfortunately, Miss Johnston was killed in a car crash a few days ago, and well, Mr. Pickles Byrne, this is Moon Shadow Elizabeth, your daughter."  
Pickles' green eyes widened at the female's words. His daughter? This little girl was his daughter? Pickles turned to Charles. "Is this true?"  
"We ran 10 DNA tests and they all came back positive, Pickles," Charles answered. "She's three-and-a-half."  
Moon Shadow stopped coloring and stared at Pickles with her dusky lavender eyes. She gave him a cute smile and the picture she was working it. Pickles took it and saw it was a bunch of circles and squares. "Puppy!" she told him and clapped her tiny hands. "It's a puppy."  
"Uh, thanks," he wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready at all to be a father. Pickles came to a blank when Snow McBike placed the toddler on his' lap.  
"I'll be back next Saturday to see how everything is going," Snow stood up. "Thank you for the meeting, Mr. Offdensen. I hope you, Mr. Byrne, and Moon Shadow get along." With that, she exited the room.  
"What am I going to do?" Pickles whined to Charles as the little girl stared at him. "I'm not ready to take this responsibility. How will I tell the guys or the public?"  
"Pickles, calm down," Charles buzzed in some female Klokateers. "I know this is new to you, but you'll get through it. The Klokateers will help and teach you how to become a parent. These are the best children teachers that we have. Uh, ladies, please show Pickles to the learning room."  
The Klokateers nodded and waited for their master to stand up with the toddler in arms to follow them. Once into the hallway, Pickles spotted his band coming towards his way. "Oh, shit," he mumbled as the band waved him down.  
"Hey, Pickles!" Nathan yelled, which startled Moon Shadow. The toddler began crying into Pickles' shoulder.  
"Shit," Pickles began rocking the girl to calm down and stop crying. "It's okay. Don't cry, don't cry."  
Murderface covered his ears at the screaming sound when the members stopped a few feet away from the drummer. "Ah, what's that awful noise?" he saw a child in Pickles' arms. "What's that nasty thing in your arms, Pickles?"  
Pickles narrowed his eyes at the bass player and walked up to him to punch him in the nose. "Don't you dare call my daughter a nasty thing!" Moon Shadow stopped crying and looked up at Pickles with tears rolling down her rosy cheeks.  
Toki, Skwisgaar, and Nathan dropped their jaws in shock. "Daughter?"  
Toki smiled and went up to see the little girl closer. "Hellos! I ams Toki. What's your names?" Moon Shadow smiled at Toki and reached a hand to touch his cheek.  
Pickles sighed and rubbed his daughter's back with his free hand. "This is Moon Shadow. I just found out that she's my daughter. I guess she'll be living with us or with me until... I don't know." Skwisgaar and Nathan awed and gathered around the drummer to admire Moon Shadow. Murderface growled while getting up.  
"I love her eyes," called Nathan with a smile and made his baby voice to her. "Well, hello there, Moon Shadow. I'm Nathan, I'm your daddy's friend."  
"She ams adorable," Skwisgaar admitted and Moon Shadow gasped happily at the sight of the blonde.  
"You pretty," Moon Shadow announced to Skwisgaar.  
"Is Skwisgaar a pretty lady?" asked Toki and Moon Shadow nodded, which made Toki laughed. "You a lady, Skwisgaar."  
"No, I'm not!" Skwisgaar shouted and stomped his boot on the floor. "You tolds her to speak that."  
Pickles gently released Moon Shadow's hand from Toki's face and sighed again. "I'm going to learn how to be a parent for her. I guess I need to do some shopping and doctor appointments and all."  
"Can we come with?" smiled Nathan and the guitarists agreed with Nathan's question while Murderface was still growling at Pickles.  
"Wow, are you guys really that bored today?" Pickles asked.  
"Nos!" Skwisgaar folded his arms across his chest and rolled his eyes while Nathan and Toki nodded a yes. "Ja," the Swede spoke the truth.  
Pickles shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

~~~~~

In the learning room, the female Klokateers were teaching Pickles and the rest of the Dethklok how to potty train, bath the toddler, what the toddler's body goes through, and what scared them the most was the period in the girl's later years. While they were learning, Charles ordered some Klokateers to clean up Pickles' room from all bottles and the smells. The agent also ordered some to remodel the drummer's room so Pickles would have a door to enter Moon Shadow's new room in his.  
After the lessons, Dethklok went to the mall to buy Moon Shadow clothes, toys, bedding, and a potty-training seat. The band was in a shoe store.  
"Okay, Moon Shadow. Do you want the unicorn light-up ones or the star light-up ones?" Pickles knelt before his daughter with one shoe from the different pairs in his hands.  
"I want," Moon Shadow scanned the area before pointing. "Them!" She was pointing at Skwisgaar's shoes, which made Pickles facepalm.  
Toki was loving the design on the little boys' shoes. "I wants them so badly," he whined and gave Skwisgaar the cute puppy-dog look.  
The lead guitarist sighed and rolled his eyes before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. "You weirdo." The Swede heard the toddler wanting his shoes to Pickles and raised a brow at her. "Uh?"  
"These are Skwisgaar's shoes," Pickles explained to Moon Shadow. "They're not for little girls' feet."  
"Please?" she gave Pickles the saddest and cutest frown ever and it melted his heart.  
"Alright, I'll ask if they have something like that," Pickles put the other shoes aside and picked up his daughter to ask an employee about the boots.

~~~~

After buying the mini version of the boots, Dethklok exited the mall and back to the limo. Pickles had Moon Shadow on his lap during the ride home and gave her a soft cookie to nibble on. The drummer was surprised that the toddler behaved in the mall like an angel. Most of the kids that he saw were throwing fits and hitting their parents, but his little girl was perfect.  
"How do I tell my parents about her, you guys?" Pickled questioned his mates.  
"I say don't," suggested Nathan. "They're, uh, cover her ears please," Pickles did so. "They're assholes to you, Pickles. Don't let them know that you have a child. You know how they'll treat you if they do." Toki and Skwisgaar agreed.  
Pickles frowned and let out a sad sigh. Moon Shadow uncovered her ears and stood up on Pickles' lap to grab his face to kiss his nose to make him happy. Pickles looked at her and smiled softly. Nathan was right, he won't tell his parents about the toddler. Pickles didn't want her to know them. His family could screw themselves.

~~~~~

It was 6:30 and Pickles was beat. Toddler-proofing the whole Mordhaus and teaching an almost 4-year-old the drums made him tired. The drummer fed Moon Shadow and himself dinner and bathed her. Bathing her in a king-size tub made him worry with fear of her drowning in it or hurt. He made sure that the water was up to her waist and it wasn't too hot or cold. Pickles kept an eye on her while washing her hair and body and letting her play with her water toys afterward.  
After drying her off, he helped her put on her new PJs and bathrobe. Pickles picked her up and carried her to his room. "This is my room, Moony," he sniffed the freshly clean bedroom and made a face. "They deep-cleaned this place well," the drummer saw the entrance to her room on the right and went there. "And this is your room." Pickles smiled when the toddler gasped in awe at the purplish-pink glitter room. "Oh, look! You have your own toddler bed with toys." He stepped toward the bed and gently put her down on it. "Okay, let's go to sleep." Pickles lifted the unicorn blanket for Moon Shadow to get under and tucked her in. She yawned and cuddled against the pillow while closing her eyes as he covered her. "Good night, little one." He kissed her forehead, turned off the main light to switch on the nightlight, and walked out to go to his own bed.

~~~~~

Pickles woke up with a jerk when he felt movement on his bed, He quickly turned on his light to see Moon Shadow crawling next to him. "Hey, Moony. Why aren't you sleeping in your bed?" He checked his clock to see that it was only 11:05 pm.  
"I sleep with you," she stated while cuddling into his chest.  
Pickles didn't want to argue with a toddler. He was too sleepy for anything. "Okay, you can sleep with me." He turned off the light and yawned.  
"I love you, daddy," she smiled before sleeping.  
Pickles smiled and felt tears in his eyes. She called him daddy for the first time. His heart burst with joy and warmness. "I love you too, Moon Shadow."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a new chapter because Pickles being a father is so adorable. Sorry for any errors. I have to play the waiting game to get my request for a MRI on my hand approve from my injury case.

Pickles yawned as he poured Moon Shadow a glass of milk and sat down next to her to cut her breakfast for her. Today was the first day of being a new dad, and he was nervous. The drummer needed to make appointments, and whatever parents need to for their kids. He worried about school, wondering if he should send her to a public, private, or homeschool. Pickles should talk to Charles about this later.  
"Daddy," Moon Shadow's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Daddy?"  
"Yes, Moony?" he asked her.  
"Can we play at the park today?" she sipped her milk.  
Pickles hummed. "I guess we can go to the park before practice."  
Moon Shadow cheered and spilled some of her milk on her bathrobe. "Oopies."  
Pickles smiled and removed the glass from her hands to sit on the table. "It's okay. I'll get a towel," he got up from his seat and searched for a towel. He found one and went back over to his daughter to clean the milk. "I'll wash this after we get dressed for the day, alright?"  
The toddler nodded and watched him. "The milk fly because I'm a little girl."  
"The milk spilled because you're a little girl?" Pickles raised a brow and chuckled when she nodded again. "I'll tell the milk to stop spilling because you're still tiny."  
"But I'm a big girl soon, daddy," she smiled. "I'll be.... 4?"  
"You'll be 4," Pickles finished cleaning the milk and put the towel under her plate and glass of milk. He should also ask Charles when's Moon's birthday.  
"I'll be 4, and 4 is a big girl number."  
"Yes, it's greater than 3," Pickles waved to his bandmates who were entering the kitchen. "Morning, y'all."  
The mates grumbled while waking up before sitting down at the table. "You missed the stripper body shots last night, Pickles," Nathan announced, not realizing that Moon Shadow was sitting across from him. "Someone finally gave Murderface head, and it was a male."  
"Nathan!" Pickles yelled while covering his child's ears. "Watch your language!"  
Nathan blinked and opened his eyes all the way to see Moon Shadow chewing her food and looking at him with Pickles' hands over her ears. "Shit, I forgot about her. I'll buy her a pet to forget what I said."  
"Okay, that'll work," Pickles uncovered her ears. "Yeah, I know, but I," he sighed. "I can't do that life anymore. I need to step up and be a father. I don't want to be like my old man to Moony."  
Moon Shadow finished her milk and food to watch Skwisgaar eat. The Swede paused his fork in midair when he saw the toddler staring at him. "Pickle, gets your child."  
"Moony, it's not okay to watch people eat," Pickles stood up and gently pulled out her chair to pick her up. "It's called being rude."  
"But her hair will get food in it," the toddler explained to Pickles, and Skwisgaar growled to himself when the toddler said the word her. "The pretty lady's hair will be dirty with food, daddy."  
Toki murmured his laughter with a smile as Pickles took the toddler out of the kitchen. Skwisgaar glared at the other guitarist. "I hates you, Toki."

~~~~~~

Pickles dressed Moon Shadow in blue jeans and a Peppa Pig t-shirt. He brushed her long, red hair while watching a YouTube video on his phone on how to braid female hair. Pickles stopped the video and put her hair up in a messy ponytail. "Okay, time to brush your teeth," Pickles smiled and walked with her to the bathroom.  
"Your teeth too, daddy," the toddler giggled and put her black boots on the wrong foot. "Daddy, my boots no go on my feet."  
Pickles noticed that and took off the boots to put on the right foot. "Is that better?" she nodded. "Good, and daddy will brush his teeth. Uh, how about we brush our teeth together?" He remembered what one of the teachers told him about helping his daughter learn things if he did them with her.  
"Yay!" Moon Shadow smiled and jumped off her bed. Pickles awed, got out of the bed as well to take her hand, and traveled toward his private bathroom. Pickles helped her up on the seated toilet and displayed their toothbrushes and pastes on the sink. "I show you how to brush your teeth, daddy."  
"Oh, you're going to show me how to brush my teeth?" Pickles asked the toddler, and Moon Shadow nodded. "Can you show me first, please?" he wet her unicorn electric toothbrush and put the bubble gum flavor toothpaste on it before handing it to her.  
Moon Shadow nodded and took her toothbrush. "First, you put the toothbrush underwater until it's all wet. Next, you put your toothpaste on it to clean your teeth because your teeth eat food. Then, you put them in your mouth and start cleaning your dirty teeth until they're all clean and shiny," Pickles nodded, and Moon Shadow turned on her toothbrush to clean her teeth. The drummer watched her as she brushed her teeth and leaned over the sink to spit. She turned on the water to wash her toothbrush off and mouth out. The toddler set her toothbrush back in its holder and smiled at Pickles. "All clean! Now, it's your time," Moon Shadow sat down on the toilet seat to watch.  
Pickles cleaned his teeth with his items and gave her a smile after washing his mouth out. Moon Shadow gave him a thumb up before hopping off the seat to walk back to Pickles' bedroom. The Dethklok member threw on a sleeveless black tee and black jeans like usual. Pickles fished for his keys and wallet in his pockets and nodded to himself when he found them. "Okay, who's ready for the park?"  
"Me!" Moon Shadow raised her hands to the ceiling. "Me! Me! Me! Me!" She ran around in circles before running out of the bedroom.  
"Boy, she has more energy like Toki," Pickles said while following her by walking. He saw her go into Skwissgar's room. "Moony, not in there!" Pickles gasped and raced to the lead guitarist's room. He halted in the doorway to see a smiling Moon Shadow kneeling in front of the blonde and watching him practice the guitar. Pickles thanked the gods that the Swede had clothes on.  
Skwisgaar stopped playing and eyed the toddler before him. "What?"  
"You pretty," spoke Moon Shadow while pointing to the guitar. "Thingy is shiny. May I play it too, please?"  
"Do you haves a guitar?" Skwisgaar asked, and Moon Shadow shook her head no with a frown. The guitarist laid his guitar on his bed before getting up and going to his closet. "Here," Moon Shadow gasped with happiness when Skwisgaar pulled out a pink teddy bear. The toddler stood up and ran to him. The guitarist knelt to give her the toy.  
Moon Shadow hugged the stuffed animal and smiled. "Thwank you! Thwank you!" She kissed the bear's head and giggled.  
Skwisgaar smiled at the girl's joy. "I gives you guitar lesson if you gets guitar, eh? Takes you under my flippers."  
Moon Shadow nodded. "I have to ask my daddy first, okay?"  
"Wow, Skwisgaar, that's so nice of you," smiled Pickles.  
Skwisgaar cleared his throat from embarrassment. "She wouldn'ts stop bothering me."  
"Daddy, Skwishy gave me this teddy bear and said that she'll give me gur-tear lessons!" Moon Shadow announced to Pickles. Skwisgaar facepalmed at the nickname and the toddler using the word she again.  
Pickles acted shock for his daughter. "Really? Oh, wow! Did you say thank you to, uh, Skwishy? What's the teddy bear's name?"  
"Yes, I did, and her name is Pointy because her tail is pointy," she smiled as Skwisgaar was giving Pickles a death glare for using that nickname. "I said thank you two times, daddy." Pickles waved his hand for Moon Shadow to follow him, but instead, the little girl ran up to the still kneeling Skwisgaar and kissed his cheek. "Thwank you," she ran back toward her father, leaving the Swede in surprise and with a red face.

~~~~~~~~~

Pickles witnessed Moon Shadow putting Pointy on the sofa and covering the toy up with a blanket for a 'nap' before heading outside. He made a face when the heavy raindrops struck the earth and looked down to see Moon Shadow frowning at him.  
"I'm sorry, kiddo," Pickled spoke. "Maybe we can go to the park tomorrow."  
"But you promise," she whined with tears in her eyes.  
He didn't promise, but he didn't want to see her cry. Pickles called for a few Klokateers to get their raincoats and Moon's rainboots. The Kloks did so, and Pickles helped his daughter in her rain gear. Once the drummer put her boots and coat on, Moon Shadow raced outside and jumped into a rain puddle. "Be careful, Moony!" Pickles warned but enjoyed hearing her laughter and splashing in the water. Pickles put on his coat and hat and stepped out. "Okay, little one. Let's go inside the limo."  
Moon Shadow stopped her fun and took her dad's hand. "Are we getting a gur-tear and a drum-drum?" she questioned.  
"Oh, do you want to learn guitar with Skwisgaar?" he raised a brow.   
Moon Shadow nodded. "I wanna be super fast!"  
Pickles chuckled and picked her up as the Klokateer limo driver opened the door for them. The two got up and sat down on the long seats. "Well, you may have to beat Skwisgaar and Toki for that title. They're the top two fastest guitar players in the world."  
"I will be number one, daddy," the toddler stated with a smile. "And super fast on the drum-drum!"  
"Whoa, now. Let's take it one instrument at a time, Moony," Pickles informed. "I'm not in the retirement stage just yet now, sweetie."  
"Daddy, where's mommy?" Moon Shadow crawled onto his lap.  
Pickles felt uncomfortable with that question. How could he explain to a toddler that her mother was dead? Should he lie? He was half-way good at lying. "Well, Moony," he began. "Mommy, uh, went to this special place where only mommies can go. She, uh, told the nice lady, Snow McBike, to give you to me because I was touring with my band."  
"What's touring?" she interrupted.  
"Touring is where daddy and his band go to many faraway places to perform for the people," he described. "It's like, uh, going to the park but can't come back home for some months or years."  
"Like when mommy showed me pictures and videos on the internet of you playing the drum-drum?" Moon Shadow smiled. "Mommy would say, 'Look, Moon! Daddy is playing.' And I waved to you, but you couldn't wave back because of playing."  
Pickles' heart shattered into pieces from her story. Her mother made sure that Moon Shadow know who her father is, but why didn't she get ahold of him or Charles in the first place? His mind wandered if she did, but her letters went unread. He needed to know that immediately. Pickles quickly pressed the stop button above him, and the limo halted.  
"Yes, milord?" the chauffeur asked.  
"Are we still at Mordhaus?" Pickled asked.  
"Yes, we are," the Klok replied.  
"Come on, Moony. Daddy needs to ask someone a question," Pickles carried the toddler to the door and got out with her in his arms while the toddler whined. He went inside and headed towards Charles' office. Pickles opened the door and saw the agent at his desk on the phone.  
"I'll have to call you back," Charles ended the call. "May I help you, Pickles?"  
"Do I have any unopened fan mails still left?" the drummer asked.  
Charles thought for a moment. "Over 5.4 thousand, why?"  
"I want them open and read, now," Pickles ordered.  
"All of them?" Charles repeated to see if he understood the drummer correctly.  
"Yeah, all of them."  
"Right now?" Pickles nodded, and Charles sighed. He buzzed in the mailroom to bring in the sacks of Pickles' fan mail.  
This was going to be a long morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hand has been in agony for almost a month now. I'm still waiting for that MRI and hand therapy. Writing a chapter may take a few days or more, depends on the pain. My sleep is suffering from it, and my health as well. Thank you for waiting and understanding. I'm sorry for any errors.

Pickles took off his raincoat and his daughter's rain gears in Charles' office. Moon Shadow was pouting at Pickles for not taking her to the park. Charles wasn't too happy that Pickles would be opening mail and making a mess in his clean office.   
"I'm mad at you!" the toddler shouted and folded her arms across her chest. "I'm mad at you!" she stomped her foot as well.  
Pickles pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew that she was angry at him, but he needed to find out to rest his curious mind. The drummer knelt before her and smiled. "Will you be happy if Pointy sits with you while daddy does something for a minute?"  
The little girl narrowed her eyes and used her ponytail to hit his face before going up to Charles with a frown. "Daddy is no fun."  
"Your father is busy," Charles told her while going into his desk drawer and pulling out some blank paper and a pencil. "Here."  
Moon Shadow gasped and took the gifts. "Thwank you," she crawled onto the agent's lap while he protested and began drawing on the desk with her new presents. Charles gave up and allowed her on his lap.   
"Sire, we have Master Pickles' fan mail," a Klokateer announced at the doorway.  
"Put it by Pickles," Charles ordered while watching the toddler draw wavy lines on one of the blank papers.  
Pickles' eyes widened in shock as six strong Klokateer men stepped into the office and placed the large sacks of mail by the couch before exiting. "Oh, I'll definitely need a drink."  
"Me too!" smiled Moon Shadow.  
"Oh, and get her one too," Pickles added.

~~~~~~~~

Nathan rubbed his head as a headache formed from thinking of a new song for the latest album. He lifted his eyes to see his band practicing their parts. The vocalist shifted his vision at the drums and saw no drummer there. Nathan hummed before getting out of his chair and pulling out his flip phone from his pocket to call Pickles.  
"Hello?" asked Pickles on the other line.  
"Where are you?" Nathan questioned. "We're started practice over an hour ago."  
"I'll be there, Nathan. I'm, uh-"  
"Daddy, look at my drawing! Look! Look!" Nathan heard the toddler's voice in the background.  
"Moony-sweetheart, I'm on the phone," Pickles told the little girl. "Yes, you drew a lovely picture. You're the best drawer in the world."  
"Charlie, look! I drew you on my picture!" the little girl yelled.  
"Uh, thank you?" Nathan heard Charles' voice.  
The frontman ended the call and looked back at his bandmate. "We're visiting Charles."  
"Whats? Whys?" asked Toki.  
Nathan didn't answer, but instead, headed toward the manager's office with the others behind. He opened the door to see Pickles watching the six Klokateers going through a ton load of mail with a glass of alcohol in the drummer's hand, and Moon Shadow sitting on Charles' lap and showing him a piece of paper.  
"That's you," Moon Shadow pointed to a smiling circle with a square body under it. "I made you with a unicorn." She smiled at Charles.  
"I see," Charles patted her head. "Good work there."  
Moon Shadow giggled and reached over the desk to grab a clear glass with the same color liquid inside like Pickles' and sipped it.  
"Is she drinking alcohol?" asked Nathan to Pickles.  
"Nah, it's just apple juice," explained Pickles. "I told her that I was drinking some, but you know what my drink is."  
"What are you doing?" Nathan spoke his main question at the drummer.  
"I'm just searching for some mail from a person," Pickles summarized his plan to Nathan.   
Murderface smiled in glee at the pile of panties in the corner. "Oh, sweet!"  
"Those are male underwear, Murderface," stated Pickles. "You can have them. I don't care about them anymore. I had my fair share of men when I was in SnB," Murderface was flabbergasted and quickly defended himself with that he's not gay. "That's not what I heard from last night," Pickles smirked at him.  
"I'm not fucking gay!" yelled Murderface. "You're the gay one. You're talking about having sex with men."  
Moon Shadow got off of Charles' lap and walked toward the men. She smiled and showed off her picture. "I drew a picture!" The guitarists and singer bent over to look at the picture with raised brows.  
Nathan knelt to get a clear view of it. "What is it?"  
"A snake," she giggled.  
"A snake?" he repeated.  
"A metal snake," she nodded.  
"A metal snake?" Nathan was confused.  
"A better metal snake," Moon Shadow pointed out. "And this is a fallen castle in the back because the snakey hit it, but it didn't mean to hit it." She gave him the picture before going to climb on Pickles' lap to rest her head on his chest. Nathan, Skwisgaar, and Toki stared at the picture. It was a rectangle in the background and a smiling circle with fangs and a wavy line.  
"My Lord, I found a letter from Ms. Pepper Johnston," one of the Klokateers announced.   
"Gimme," Pickles reached over while holding the sleepy toddler in his arm. The Klokateer gave him a long and tan envelope, and Pickles took it and leaned back in his seat before opening.  
"Ah, Pickle loves a groupie," chuckled Skwisgaar.  
"Is this why you missed an hour of practice? For a s-l-u-t?" Nathan was pissed, spelling out the word slut in case the toddler was listening.  
"What? No!" Pickles replied while opening the envelope and making sure the toddler was asleep. "She wasn't that. She was Moony's mom."  
"Was? You're talking like the girl's mother is dead," Murderface stated.  
Pickles went silent for a second before clearing his throat. "Well, yeah, she is. She passed away a few days ago," The room was soundless after Pickles said that, but the drummer continued. "I'm checking my fan mail to see if Moony's mom did write to me about Moony because Moony told me that her mom did tell her about me." The red hair began reading the letter. His mouth turned into a frown while reading. "Oh, this is a letter about Pepper's pregnancy. It's saying that I was her first and asking if I can just sign the birth certificate. ....I didn't know."  
"Daddy?" Moon Shadow opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I got to go potty."  
"Okay, let's get you to the potty," Pickles set the letter down on the cushion and carefully got off his seat with Moon Shadow still in his arms. "Put the rest of Pepper Johnston's mail on my bed, and put the men's underwear in Murderface's room." He ordered the Klokateers before leaving the office.  
"What?!" Murderface shouted after Pickles. "I'm not gay! You're the gay one!"  
"It's called being bisexual, Murderface," Nathan corrected the bassist.

~~~~~~

After helping Moon Shadow with the toilet and getting some lunch, Pickles took her to the living room to get her new toy.  
"You and Pointy can watch daddy and his band play songs," Pickles put her down on the floor. "Remember daddy's drumkit from yesterday?"  
"The drum-drum?" Moon asked, and Pickles nodded. "Okay! Pointy and me will watch, but Pointy wants to have a tea and dress-up party while watching. She wants to do hair."  
"Does she wants to do hair, or do you want to do hair?" Pickles smiled at the toddler.  
"I want to do hair, daddy," the little girl nodded. "I do your hair!"  
Pickles chuckled and knelt before her to undo her ponytail. He hummed as he lifted her hair. An idea came to mind. "Do you want daddy to do your hair like when he was a singer?"  
Moon Shadow gasped and nodded rapidly with a smile. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" she ran over to the sofa to get her teddy bear. The toddler blinked when she saw her stuffed animal wasn't on the cushion, but only the blanket. "Pointy?" The child raised the seat to look underneath. "Pointy?" She checked the other ones for her toy, but no luck. Moon Shadow searched on the floor, and then, began to cry. She got up and ran to Pickles with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Daddy!"  
Pickles quickly held her in his arms. "Hey, it's okay. Don't cry, Moony. Daddy will find Pointy, don't worry," he stood up straight with her in his arms still and gently bounced on his heels while she wept in his chest. "Ho, I think I know who has Pointy. Daddy's friend, Toki, may have taken her to his room so she can play with the other teddy bears. Do you want to see, Moony?" The child whimpered while looking at him. Pickles softly wiped her tears away with his thumb. She nodded, and Pickles took her in the hallway to see his mates coming toward them. "Hey, Toki. Did you happen to take a pink deady bear from the living room earlier? It had a blanket covering it," Pickles stared at the youngest band member with Moon Shadow frowning.  
"Pink deady bears?" Toki hummed before recalling. "Oh, yes. I have ones in mys room. It is hers?"  
"Pointy was sleeping for the tea and hair party tonight," Moon Shadow told the men. "She was napping, and you took her! That no nice, and you made Skwishy sad!"  
"What's and who is a Skwishy?" asked Murderface while Skwisgaar pinched his nose in annoyance.  
"Oh, I'm sorries," frowned Toki while bending over to be at the little girl's eye level. "I goes get Pointy, okays?"  
Moon Shadow nodded, and Pickles gave the toddler to Nathan. "I'll go with Toki to get Pointy. This dude is Nathan, Moony," smiled Pickles while the girl gave him a puppy-dog look. "He's no scary man. He's a big teddy bear."  
"I am?" questioned Nathan while looking down at the tiny human in his arms. Pickles and Toki were already down the hallway. "Uh, hey, kid?"  
"I'm Moon Shadow," she corrected him with a toss of her hand to her hair. "I'm a pretty princess."  
"Okay, pretty princess? Where did you come up with that name? Better Metal Snake?" the singer asked.  
"I saw a snakey wearing a metal suit back in New York zoo," Moon Shadow explained. "Snakeys don't wear suits. That's silly!"  
Nathan carried the toddler to the practice room with the others and sat her down in the chair before getting his pen and paper. "I see."

~~~~~

Toki handed Moon Shadow her toy back, and she thanked him with a kiss of the cheek before dancing with it around the room.  
"Hey, I wrote a new song," Nathan announced to the band.

~~~~~~~

Later that night, Charles entered the living room to see Nathan on his laptop and the guitarists and bassist watching TV.  
"Nathan," Charles walked over to him with a paper. "Is this correct? Your co-writer for the song, Better Metal Snake, is Moon Shadow?"  
"Yeah, so what about it?" Nathan's eyes didn't leave the screen.  
"That means that Moon Shadow will get half of the credit, money, and can use the song in any way that she wants," answered Charles. "How is she your co-writer, Nathan? She's almost 4, and can't write yet."  
"The picture and its background," Nathan hummed. "I'm giving credit where it's due."  
Pickles stepped in the room and cleared his throat. "Hey, dudes. Can you cover your eyes? I have a surprise. You too, Charles, close your eyes."  
"It better be female strippers," Murderface barked before coating his eyes with his hands. Everyone else closed their eyes.  
"Oh, yeah, fatso. I got your favorite thing: disappointment," Pickles laughed along with the other bandmates as Murderface screamed in rage. Pickles moved back into the hallway while whispering something. The drummer came back in with a smile. "Okay, open them."   
The men did so and saw Moon Shadow posing with a cordless microphone. Her enlarged red hair was like lion hair with a white headband. She was wearing red gloves with matching boots, and a black sleeveless top and blue jeans. The toddler had black makeup around her eyes like cat eyes. "I'm daddy!"  
Nathan shut his laptop and put it beside him. "Moon, how are you like your dad?"  
"She's a mini version of Pickles when he was in Snakes 'n' Barrels," replied Charles. The rest of Dethklok gazed at their agent.  
"How do you know this?" Nathan asked again.  
"I'm your agent. It's my job to know everyone's background."  
"That's creepies," Toki said. "Nows, I'm scared."  
Moon Shadow skipped over to Toki and smiled. "Don't be scared. I'm a princess, and I'll save you."  
Toki smiled at the girl. "Wowee! Mys own heroes. Thank yous."  
"You're welcome, Toki," Moon Shadow giggled before climbing on his lap. "Who are you scared of?" Toki pointed to Charles, and Moon Shadow stared at the manager. "Oh, Charlie isn't scary, but he's a good little baby."  
"Good little baby?" Charles repeated the child's words.  
Moon Shadow nodded. "Yes, you are. You boys are little babies to me. I'm a big girl so I'm an adult, except for daddy, he's an adult too. Tomorrow, we're going to have a tea and dress-up party at two o'clock. No ifs, ands, or booties!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. My hand doctor thinks I may have torn something in my wrist now after falling on my injured hand. Writing chapters will be slow, but I'll try and publish them the best that I can do. Sorry for any errors.

Moon Shadow dragged a yellow guitar across the hallway from Pickles' and her rooms. It was around noon, and the toddler hadn't seen Skwisgaar all morning. The little girl wanted to learn the guitar as the Swede told her he would teach her. With a big smile on her face, Moon Shadow stopped in front of the wooden door and reached up to open it. She paused when she heard weird sounds coming from the other side. Curiously filled her tiny mind as she turned the doorknob and pushed it open all the way. Her eyes widened in fear as Moon Shadow saw Skwisgaar naked on top of a nude female and dropped the guitar, causing the crashing noise to startle the adults.  
Skwisgaar halted and quickly covered himself when he saw the toddler staring at him. "The fucks!! Moons, gets out!"  
The toddler let out a scream and ran away. Her screams echoed the air as Pickles came out of the living room and into the hallway to see his daughter running up to him. "Moony, what's wrong?" he worried as he knelt and opened his arms for her to run into them.  
"Daddy!" the toddler cried. "Skwishy was on a lady in his room, and they got no clothes on."  
"Oh? Oh!" Pickles realized that Moon Shadow walked in on Skwisgaar having sex with a groupie. Was she too young to know what sex is? He should ask Charles about this. "Moony, don't cry," he picked up the child and headed back into the living room while Nathan came in from the other entrance. "Skwishy wasn't hurting the lady."  
"Yes, he was!" the kid yelled. "They made scary sounds in the room when I open the door."  
"Moony, did you knock first before entering his room?" Pickles asked, and the girl shook her head no. The drummer sighed and placed her down on the sofa.  
"What's going on?" Nathan questioned while standing beside Pickles.  
"She saw Skwisgaar having s-e-x," he spelled out the last word. "She thinks he was hurting the groupie. Do you think it's too soon to tell her about it?"  
"What? Sex?" Nathan asked, then shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not a parent to know."  
"Well, I wasn't either until a few days ago," Pickles pointed out before rubbing his forehead. "I'm going to ask Charles. Can you watch her for a minute?"  
Before Nathan could speak, Pickles was already out of the room. Nathan raised a brow at the girl as she climbed off the sofa and stood in front of him.

~~~~~~

Pickles walked into Charles' office and saw Skwisgaar yelling at the man.  
"I wants that thing outs of here, nows!" Skwisgaar demanded to Charles. "She ams rude and no manners for walking into mys room."  
"Hey!" Pickles stepped behind the guitarist with a growl. "My daughter isn't a thing, and mostly, you should have locked your door if you didn't want anyone coming in."  
Skwisgaar spun around and stared down at Pickles. "It yours job to watch her, Pickle, nots mys job."  
Charles quickly got up from his chair and stood between the bandmates. "Skwisgaar, I'll order the Kloks to put in a new door for you. Pickles, Skwisgaar is right. It is your job to watch your daughter," Charles said, and Skwisgaar gave Pickles an 'I told you' smirk. "Also, I need to talk to you about your daughter as well." Skwisgaar walked out while Pickles gave him the finger. Charles sat down on the edge of his desk. "Moon Shadow's mother's funeral is tomorrow in New York. There will be a reading of her will afterward."  
"Tomorrow?" Pickles blinked. "On Halloween?"  
"And the girl's birthday," Charles added. "The wake will start at noon. I'm assuming you will take Moon Shadow to New York for the event."  
"Well, yeah," Pickles nodded. "I'm just wrapping my head around the fact that my daughter will be burying her mother on her birthday."  
Charles understood. "I'll have the jet picking you and Moon Shadow up tomorrow morning at 8:30."  
Pickles sighed and headed out the door. He halted and spun around. "Oh, Charles. How do I tell Moony about sex?"  
"Because she walked in on Skwisgaar?"  
"Yeah."  
Charles thought for a moment. "I think I know someone can explain the birds and the bees to a toddler," the agent stared at his watch. "We'll meet in the conference room at 2."  
"Oh, thanks," Pickles left the office and back to the living room. "Hey, Moony, we're-" He paused when he saw Nathan on the floor with his hair up and getting makeup put on his face by the toddler.  
"You're very pretty, Miss Teddy Bear," Moon Shadow spoke to Nathan while putting red lipstick on his lips to match the bright blue eyeshadow and purple blush. "All the others will be loving you." Pickles put a hand over his mouth to silence the laughter as the toddler finished the makeup and gave Nathan a pink cup. "Drink your tea before it gets too cold like snow." Pickles swallowed the laughter and knocked on the wall. The toddler spun around and gasped with joy when she saw Pickles. She had no makeup on her face. "Daddy! Look at my artwork!" The child pointed at Nathan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two o'clock rolled around, and Dethklok with Moon Shadow came into the meeting room. Nathan was still getting the layers of makeup off his face with a wet and white towel, and Moon Shadow was in Pickles' arms while eating a large bag of cheeto puffs. Charles was standing in his usual spot and waited for the band to sit down.  
"Oh crap, I'm a painted whore," Nathan stated while sitting down and looking at the now colorful towel. "Pickles, your daughter made me her bitch. We should have never stopped at that beauty area in the mall."  
Charles cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "Since we have a new member of Dethklok," Charles began.  
"Wait, who's the new member?" Murderface interrupted.  
"Well, it's Moon Shadow," Charles replied.  
"She's not a member," Murderface said. "Girls can't and won't be members of Dethklok."  
"What?" Pickles gave the bassist a death stare. "My daughter can be a member of Dethklok. She's part of me, so she's me."  
"Yeah!" Moon Shadow yelled with a mouthful of puffs.  
"Honey, don't talk with food in your mouth," Pickles spoke softly to her. "You'll choke."  
Moon Shadow threw a puff at Murderface. "Go eat a hotdog."  
The puff hit Murderface's nose, and the bassist stood up to run over to the toddler to strangle her, but Nathan blocked him while Moon Shadow curled up in Pickles' arms and her face in his chest for protection. "Sit down," ordered Nathan to Murderface. "Now." Murderface mumbled something before sitting back down.  
Charles waited for everyone to sit down before continuing. "As I was saying, since we have a new member of Dethklok, we need to go over a few things."  
"Like what?" asked Toki.  
"Like sex," Charles answered.  
"Why do we need to relearn about sex?" Nathan raised a brow before remembering what Pickles told him earlier. "Oh. Oh! So, uh, how we or how she will learn about sex?"  
"With this educational video," Charles turned on the TV behind him and sat down. Moon Shadow unburied her face in her daddy's chest to watch the screen.  
A spinning skull appeared on the screen with a smile. "Hey pals, it's me! Faaaaaceboooooones!" Moon Shadow gasped and took a puff to throw it at the screen as the logo began talking about sex.  
Charles noticed that. "Moon Shadow, why are you throwing food at the screen?" he questioned.  
"Because the little baby got no body and is hungry," she threw another one. "Why he got no body and no hair, Charlie?"  
"Because he's not real," he caught the puff in the air and gave it back to her. "He's a cartoon."  
"Oh!" she took the puff from his hand and ate it while watching the skull.  
"Sex is when two people love each other or get stupidly drunk and heated up to where their bodies want to become one," Facebones spoke to break it down for the younger viewer. "In Mother Nature, animals do it too, and this is called mating," A sign flashed on the screen with a deep voice shouting warning before Facebones continued. "Having sex without a condom can lead to pregnancy and STDs. STDs are sexually transmitted diseases which are the following," the logo began listing all the diseases. "And no one wants them! Thanks for watching and learning about sex! I'm Facebones! G-g-g-g-g-g...GOODBYE!" the screen faded to black.  
Moon Shadow pouted at Charles and back at her daddy. "I don't get it. Why did the little baby go bye-bye?"  
"Because the video was over," Charles clarified. "Did you learn what sex is, Moon Shadow?"  
"Uhhhhhh," Moon Shadow turned to Pickles and whispered. "What do I say if I learn it, daddy?"  
"Then you tell him that you learned it," Pickles responded.  
"But what if I don't learn it?"  
"Then you still tell him that you learned it."  
"But that's lying, daddy. Mommy said that lying is bad," she slapped his chest with a huff.  
"And so is hitting, Moony," Pickles held her tiny hand in his with a smile.  
Moon Shadow turned to Charles. "I don't get, but I learned it, Charlie! Thwank you!" she smiled.

After seeing that Moon Shadow has the same learning skills as the boys, Charles moved on with the meeting.  
"Your concert for Munich, Germany has sold out within the first hour," Charles announced. "Any solos you have planned?"  
"Yes!" Moon Shadow smiled. "I got plans!"  
"Moon Shadow, can you play an instrument?" asked Charles.  
"No, but I got big plans," she banged her hands on the table. "Listen up! We are going to play songs and dancing!"  
"Dancing? What kind of dancing?" Charles went along with the girl's words, knowing that Dethklok was probably listening.  
"Uh," Moon Shadow thought for a moment while digging her finger in her nose.  
"Pickles, she's picking her nose," Charles told the drummer.  
Pickles pulled her finger out of her nose, and Moon Shadow huffed before putting it back in. Pickles pulled her finger out of her nose again and held both of her hands in one hand. "Moon Shadow, don't pick your nose," Pickles spoke while the toddler whined. "You pick your nose, and you're going in time-out. Time-out as in no fun." He released her hands, and the tiny human pouted cutely at him. "Ask for a tissue next time, okay? You could hurt yourself with that nose picking."  
Moon Shadow turned back to the table and smacked her hands down on the wood. "Ballerinas!"  
"Ballerinas aren't metal," Murderface argued. "That's for sissies and women."  
"Ballerinas for snakey!" Moon Shadow yelled while giving Murderface death stares.  
Charles turned to Nathan. "Nathan, since you and Moon Shadow are the owners of the now top-rating song Better Metal Snake, do you want ballerinas?"  
Moon Shadow jumped off her daddy's lap, ran over to Nathan, and climbed onto his lap to put her hands on his cheeks while staring at him with her puppy-dog eye look. "Pretty please?"  
Nathan couldn't look away from the toddler. He wished that he could look away, but this child was in his way, and he didn't want to upset Pickles. "Uh, as long as the ballet is metal."  
"Is that a yes?" the toddler asked.  
"That's a yes," Nathan answered.  
Moon Shadow gasped and cheered before giving Nathan a bunch of kisses on his cheeks, nose, and forehead. "Thwank you! Thwank you! Thwank you!" She hopped off his lap and ran back to Pickles. "Daddy, I'm going to have ballerinas at my show!"  
"Oh, really?" Pickles pretended to be shocked by the news. "Can daddy and his band be in the show, please?" Moon Shadow nodded before running around the table while giggling and out the door. Pickles stood up to follow her.  
"Are you going to have ballerinas at the show, Nathan?" Charles wanted to make sure this is true and not something the singer said to the toddler.  
"I wanted to say no, but those eyes, I couldn't say no to them," Nathan admitted.  
"So it's a yes?" Charles watched as Nathan nodded. "Alright. I'll see what I can do."  
"I think Pickles is getting too into this parenting thing," Murderface stated. "I mean, why can't the mother's grandparents watch the girl? She's totally killing Pickles' style."  
"Ands annoying," Skwisgaar added.  
"Because it was Moon Shadow's mother's last words for Pickles to care for her daughter," Charles stood up from his seat. "To let you four know, Pickles and Moon Shadow will be going to New York for the mother's funeral tomorrow, and you're free to go."  
"The meeting is over?" Nathan blinked, and Charles nodded. "That's weird to sit through a meeting, but whatever." He got up and headed out of the room. The singer watched Pickles rocking the crying toddler to calm her down.  
"She fell while running," Pickles told Nathan when he came over to them. "She told me that she danced ballet back in New York."  
"And I was a bunny in a ballerina play," Moon Shadow added as she stopped crying. "And my auntie got it on camera while mommy helped me dancing. I was no scared. I wanted mommy with me." The toddler rested her head on Pickles' shoulder.  
"Oh, wow," Nathan acted happy for the toddler before whispering to Pickles. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"  
"8:30-ish," Pickles shrugged. "It's her birthday tomorrow as well, so we'll probably be trick-or-treating afterward."  
"Can we come to the funeral?" Nathan asked. "It's better than staying here."  
"Writer's block?" Pickles questioned.  
"Writer's block," Nathan sighed.  
"Yeah, you guys can come," the drummer smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to have 6-weeks of hand therapy until March, which means I'll be out of work for the time being. Thank you for waiting for a chapter. I do hope you all like it, and sorry for any errors. I'm sorry if the chapter is blah and dragging on. I'm also sorry for Toki and Skwisgaar speech. It's kinda hard to write how they talk, you know.

The alarm went off at 7:15 on Pickles' nightstand. The drummer opened his eyes and groaned from the hangover of binge-drinking after putting Moon Shadow to bed. He rolled over on his bed and hit the alarm to quiet it. Pickles turned on the lights and rubbed his eyes while sitting up. He jumped out of his skin when his vision cleared and saw Moon Shadow standing at the end of the bed with a smile.  
"M-M-Moony!" Pickles stuttered. "How long have you been standing there?"  
"Five," the toddler climbed on the bed and began jumping on it, making Pickles' headache worse. "It's my birthday, daddy!"  
Pickles put his face in his hands and grunted. "Five minutes or five hours? Yes, yes, I know. Happy birthday, my little mini-me. Sweetie, sweetie, please stop jumping. Daddy has a headache."  
Moon Shadow stopped and walked toward her father to hug him. "I love you, daddy," she began kissing his forehead before stopping and wiping her lips with the back of her hand. "Ew! Daddy's forehead is sweaty."  
Pickles chuckles as Moon Shadow picked up some of the blanket and gently patted the drummer's forehead with it. "Is daddy's forehead still sweaty?"  
"No, because I cleaned it," she smiled and eyed one of the half-emptied beer bottles. "Whoa!" the toddler reached over to get the bottle.  
"No, Moony," Pickles tried to stop her, but the toddler seized it, jumped off the bed, and ran away with the bottle in hands. "Moony, come back here!" He leaped off the mattress and raced after her.  
Moon Shadow's giggled echoed throughout the hallway as she tried to get into Skwisgaar's room, but no luck with the new door. The toddler ran further down the corridor to see a wooden door. Moon Shadow could hear her father calling her name and quickly opened the door, went inside, and shut it. She spun around to see flowing airplanes hanging from the ceiling, a desk in the middle of the room, and a bed with a large lump under the sheets. Moon Shadow set the bottle down on the floor and walked over to the bed to climb on it.  
The lump made a noise and uncovered itself as Toki. Toki yawned and saw the toddler sitting on top of his chest. "Oh, goods morning, Moons!" he smiled and sat up as the girl slid down to his lap. "What times is it?"  
"To-To-Toki," Moon Shadow smiled. "Today's my birthday, and I'm a big girl now, Toki!"  
"Happys birthday, Moons," Toki yawned again before smiling at her. "Where ams Pickle?"  
The tiny human lifted the guitarist's shirt and awed. "Toki got a pretty tummy," she slapped his abs and giggled before giving one of them a kiss.  
"Please nos hitting mes, Moons," he whined and picked the child up while getting off the bed. He thought to himself that this creature is adorably weird.  
"Toki, you're my friend. Will you be my friend?" Moon Shadow asked as Toki turned on the lights.   
"Yes, buts why ams you up so early?" Toki questioned the child. "Let's go finds your fathers."  
"My daddy is my daddy," she corrected. "I know Nate-Nate is my daddy's boyfriend."  
Toki raised a brow at her words. "Do yous know whats a boyfriend ams?"  
"Do you?" she giggled and began stroking his mustache. "You talk funny like Skwishy. So pretty."  
"Yes, because I ams big than you," Toki opened the door and saw Pickles panicking and searching in the hallway. "Pickle?"  
Pickles spun around and saw Toki holding his daughter. "Moony!" he ran up to them and took her to hug her. The drummer calmed himself down. "Thanks, Toki. She decided to take one of my beers from me and hid it somewhere."  
Toki looked behind his door and saw the spilled beer on the carpet. "Oh, geez," he bent over and picked up the now empty beer bottle. "Here yous gos," Toki gave it to Pickles and the drummer sighed.  
"You owe daddy a beer, Moony," Pickles told her while she stroked his beard and mustache. "Was she any trouble for you?"  
"She kisses mys abs," Toki answered. "Ands she said Nat'an ams your boyfriend."  
Pickles blinked in surprise before staring at his smiling daughter. "Oh, you think you're funny, aye?" he began tickling her stomach, and Moon Shadow laughed. "Nathan isn't my boyfriend, Toki. Moony is being a goofball, and I'm sorry for her waking you up. I need to get her ready before 8:30 because we're going to New York for her m-o-m's funeral."  
"M-O-M?" Toki spelled out the same word as Pickles did before figuring it out. "Oh! Can I come?"  
"Yes!" Moon Shadow smiled and reached over to grab his face. "You're my baby friend, so you go where I go," she giggled. "And I go where you go, Toki!"  
"We have to go to get ready, Toki," Pickles announced.  
"I be ready!" Toki smiled and closed his bedroom door. Pickles shrugged and walked away with Moony in arms.

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Pickles in a black suit was asleep against his seat in the dethjet with Moon Shadow in a cute black dress with a red rose in her hair watching some cartoons on the mini TV by on the chair's arm in his lap. The tiny human slid down Pickles' leg and walked over to Nathan's seat.  
"Nate-Nate," she stood in front of him to get his attention. "Nate-Nate, watch this." Moon Shadow did a releve and jumped in the air. She landed on her feet with a wobble and smiled at the singer. "I did it!"  
Nathan clapped as the girl took a bow and picked her up to place her on his thigh. "Hey, listen. Toki told me that you said that I'm your daddy's boyfriend."  
"Because you are," she began combing his hair with her fingers.  
"No, Moon, I'm not," he corrected her. "Your daddy and I are just bandmates, and I like females."  
"If daddy was a female?" she questioned.  
Nathan had to think about that. Would he date Pickles if he was a female? "Well," he didn't have an answer. "I'll tell you when you're older, okay?"  
Moon Shadow nodded and stood up on his thigh to comb his hair better. "You got shiny hair, Nate-Nate. It's shinier more like Skwishy's pretty hair, but you're no girl like Skwishy is."  
Skwisgaar pinched his nose with annoyance on his face. "Will you pleases stops calling me a lady?"  
"Hey, Moon," Nathan cleared his throat. "Skwisgaar is not a lady. He's a guy like your daddy."  
"Skwishy is my daddy?" she leaned over Nathan's shoulder to look at Skwisgaar with a confused look. "Are you my daddy?"  
"No," Skwisgaar flat out told her.  
"Moon, Skwisgaar isn't your daddy or mommy," Nathan tried to explain.  
"But Skwishy is my boyfriend," she smiled. "And Toki is my baby friend." Nathan and Skwisgaar groaned in defeat while Toki was listening to music with headphones, unknowing of what was going on.  
"I should haves stay in bed," murmured Skwisgaar. "Like Murderface."  
Pickles woke himself up with a snort. "Huh? What?"  
"Daddy, Skwishy is my boyfriend!" the toddler yelled with a smile at Pickles.  
Pickles sat up straight and stretched his arms above his head. "Skwishy is your boyfriend? What? Who taught you about boyfriends?"  
"Auntie," the little girl replied.  
"Auntie?" Pickles was now fully awake. "You're too young to be dating. You can date when you're 12."  
"But daddy," Moon Shadow gave him the puppy-dog eye look.  
"No buts, Moony," Pickles stood up to get his daughter off Nathan's thigh to place her on the ground. "Come on. Daddy will show you how to make a cocktail."  
The toddler groaned and took Pickles' hand to walk to the rear of the plate. "Daddy said no buts to me," she told Charles, who was sitting behind Pickles, before going to the mini bar.

  
~~~~~~~~

  
The jet finally landed in New York City after 11 o'clock at the LaGuardia Airport, and the band got off it. The dethlimo was waiting for them at the airport. Everyone got in the limo before it drove off.  
"We should get to Trinity Church in 30 minutes," Charles said while looking at his watch, and then, his flip phone rang. "Excuse me," he pulled it out of his pocket and answered it. "Hello? Oh, hello there, Murderface."  
"Where the fuck is everyone?" the rest of the band could hear Murderface on the other line.  
"We're in New York City," Charles spoke while Nathan told the agent to give him the phone.  
Nathan took the phone away from Charles. "Hey, fatass," Nathan said to the bassist on the phone. "We _**TRIED**_ waking you up, but you told us that you want to sleep in your comfortable bed than go to a funeral, those were your words. I don't see why you're now calling us when we're already in NYC to bitch about not coming with."  
Murderface was quiet for a moment before talking. "So... When are you guys coming back?"  
"Probably later tonight. Goodbye," Nathan ended the call and gave the phone back to Charles. "Geez, what a dildo."  
"Dildo?" Moon Shadow giggled at his word while combing Toki's hair with her fingers. "Dildo is a funny word."  
"Don't repeat that word until you're older," Pickles ordered to Moon Shadow. "I don't want you to get in trouble with that, okay, Moony?"  
Moon Shadow nodded before stopping her combing and going over to Pickles. "Daddy, can we go to the park later? We have to go to the park later because of the baby duckies sleeping right now, and their mommies and daddies will be mad if we wake them up."  
"Sure, Moony," Pickles smiled. "We can go to the park later." The toddler cheered before climbing on Skwisgaar's leg and his lap. She hugged his torso and giggled.  
Skwisgaar narrowed his eyes at the toddler and back at her father. "Pickle," he said.  
"Moony, come to daddy," Pickles called her over so the lead guitarist wouldn't be angry at the birthday girl. The tiny human got off of Skwisgaar and toward the drummer. Pickles picked her up and sighed. "Remember when I told you about the place that your mommy is at?" Moon Shadow nodded, and Pickles continued. "Well, mommy can't go to that place yet until we bury her body. Do you understand that you'll see mommy's body, but mommy isn't in her body?"  
Moon Shadow nodded again and leaned her head against his chest.   
"My Lords, we are here at the church," the limo Klokateer driver announced. Dethklok, minus Murderface, and Charles got out of the limo and saw a lot of police cars and motorcycles in the parking lot and street.  
"A lot of police here for a funeral," stated Nathan.  
"That's because mommy's a cop," Moon Shadow pointed to a middle-aged woman in the distance. "NANNY!" she waved to her. "HI, NANNY!!!"  
The middle-aged woman and an older man in black came up to the group. "Moon Shadow!" the woman smiled at the toddler.  
"Nanny! Papa! Today's my birthday!" the toddler reached over to kiss the two on the cheeks.  
"Happy birthday, our little shadow," the man returned the kiss cheek to her.  
"You must be my granddaughter's father," the woman faced Pickles. "Ickles, right?"  
"It's Pickles," the drummer corrected her.  
"We're sorry for your loss," Charles told the couple.  
"Thank you," the female dabbed a tissue under her eye. The historic church's bells dong to tell everyone that the wake was starting. "It's time for the wake. Do you have the funeral sticker?"  
"Yes, it's in the window," responded Charles.  
The woman nodded and headed toward the church with her husband and Dethklok following her. The gang stopped in front of the church as an army of police officers marched beside a slow-moving black hearse. The hearse halted before the church, and the undertaker stepped out to open the rear door. Moon Shadow's grandmother wept in a younger woman's arms as six male police officers pulled out a pink coffin with the NYPD flag covering it. The captain yelled something, and the men put the coffin on their shoulders before heading inside the church. Moon Shadow's grandmother and others followed them with Dethklok behind.  
"Lacrimosa," the choir sang as everyone made their way to the front where the slideshow of Pepper was playing. "Dies illa. Qua resurget ex favilla judicandus homo reus."  
"Mommy!" Moon Shadow shouted with a smile when she saw the pictures and pointed while the choir sang in the background. "Daddy, look, it's mommy!"  
Pickles' eyes followed the toddler's finger and saw the photo of the Pepper modeling for the camera with a Dethklok shirt on. Immediately, Pickles remembered the female and how she had amazing Double D breast and a nice ass. He remembered falling in love with her hourglass body and her cute voice when she moaned his name during sex.  
Dethklok sat behind Pepper's family in the front as the officers placed the coffin in the front. The pastor thanked the officers and headed to the microphone. He waited for everyone to sit and the doors to close. "Family, friends, co-workers, and strangers, thank you for coming. I know this is a difficult time for the family of Pepper Johnston, and anyone who knew Pepper. Captain O'Neal told me he has news to share. Captain, please come up here." The pastor stepped aside as an African-American male stood up from his seat and to the microphone.  
"Thank you, pastor," Captain O'Neal spoke. "As some of you know, on October 27 at 2:15 pm, Pepper was responding to shots fired when her patrol car collided with a car speeding at 70 miles per hour. The suspect of the speeding vehicle fled the scene and left Officer Johnston fighting for her life as she radioed in for help. Pepper passed away in surgery two hours later, and her final words were for her daughter to be raised by her father. She served two tours in Iraq after high school and joined the NYPD after her daughter was born. She was going to the K9 unit next year," he wiped the tears off his cheeks. "I'm happy to inform everyone that we found the suspect last night, and he's being charged with Pepper's death and other charges as well."  
"Mommy!" Moon Shadow yelled and smiled at the picture of Pepper smiling at the camera with Moon Shadow in her ballerina outfit playing on the screen. "Daddy, it's mommy!" Pepper's family turned their heads to the toddler and Dethklok. The toddler pointed to the captain's right side and waved. "She's here! Mommy is here! Hi, mommy!" The captain glanced to his right and saw nothing.  
"Moony? Moony?" Pickles spoke with a frown. "Remember what I was telling you about mommy? You may see mommy's body, but it's not mommy inside."  
"But daddy, mommy is right there," she pointed to the spot by the captain again. "Mommy is right there, daddy."  
"Honey, she's not there," Pickles told her, and the toddler frowned. "Mommy is in Heaven."  
"No, she's not!" the toddler screamed. "Mommy is right there! Mommy is right there!" Moon Shadow began crying and buried her face in Pickles' chest. Pickles slowly rocked and rubbed her back to calm her.

  
~~~~~~~~~~~

  
The young woman that was holding the grandmother earlier stood in front of the microphone.  
She cleared her throat to begin. "Hi, I'm Jennifer, Pepper's older and only sister. I can tell you a lot of things of Pepper that would make her jump out of that coffin and kick my butt for saying that," she chuckled, and the people laughed a bit. "When Pepper was 10, she wanted a puppy so badly, but our parents said no to her because mom didn't want fur everywhere. One day when I was babysitting her, she decided to steal our neighbor's puppy when I was cooking dinner. I was only 14, and our parents were at work. I remember hearing barking and howling, and I'm thinking that she was watching a re-run Lassie episode. Nope, it was our neighbor's dog in our living room," Jennifer paused for a moment. "She was in so much trouble with mom, dad, the cops, and the neighbor. I also remember taking Pepper to a Dethklok concert when she came back home from Iraq. It's the picture of her posing at the stadium with her merch shirt. I waited in my car for hours, and after everyone was leaving, I was still waiting for her. I called her phone, and I'm hearing on the other line moaning and some guy's name that she was saying. I'm like, 'Is she for real?'" her bottom lip shivered. "When she came back to the car, her hair and makeup were messy and smelled like alcohol and weed. I asked her who was the guy she was with, and she told me she did it with the drummer. Nine months later, my beautiful niece was born on Halloween," Jennifer began to cry. "And I know she won't remember this, but it breaks my heart that my niece has to bury her mother on her birthday. Pickles, you better tell Moon Shadow about Pepper when she asks about her. I don't care if you have to make up stories. Just don't make her forget about Pepper."  
Pickles nodded and looked into his arms to see Moon Shadow napping. 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After burying the coffin in the Trinity Church Cemetery, Pepper's family and Dethklok were sitting in the pastor's office with Pepper's executor and a court judge.  
"My name is Peter Windjob. I'm Pepper Johnston's executor, and this Judge Jane Bus," introduced Peter behind the pastor's desk. "I will now read the will of Pepper." he gathered some papers in his hands and put on his glasses. "This is my, Pepper Anne Johnston, will. To my father and mother: I leave behind great-grandma's mansion that she gave me in her will. I remember my mother talking about her grandmother's place. The address is 108 8th Ave in Brooklyn, New York. A value worth $8 million, and I've paid for a year's worth of gas, electricity, and property taxes for you two." The middle-aged couple let out a cry of joy. "To my sister Jennifer: You told me that you wanted a place where you and your son could live in peace, and somewhere he can run around. I found you a perfect home that I bought you. The address is 641 County Route 8 in Germantown, New York. It's from 1860, and I know that you'll love it. A value worth $360,000," Peter went to the second paper. "To my daughter Moon Shadow: I leave you some items that have been pass down in my family for many generations. The following are from your Viking turned ruler ancestor, Eric Bloodaxe," Dethklok's ears perk up from the word Viking. "His sword that he stained it with his enemies' blood. Eric's necklace that has his blood inside. Please don't open the locket to see if his blood is inside. Opening it will damage the jewelry. The human flesh-covered journal that is said he wrote about his descendants and the future. A value worth over $7.1 billion, and also, a tape that Pepper recorded for Moon Shadow."  
"$7.1 billion?" Pickles and everyone else was shocked.  
"Because these items are expensive, we will need everyone to pay the taxes," said the judge.   
The grandparents and Jennifer frowned. "Bu-Bu-But we don't have that much money," explained the grandfather.  
"I'll pay for them," Pickles stood up with awaken Moon Shadow in his arms. "Give me the amount, and I'll pay."  
Charles stood up as well and headed over to the desk. "Charles Foster Offdensen, the manager and lawyer of Dethklok," he stood Peter's and the judge's hands. "I'll need a copy of the will and tax forms."  
"Of course," the judge gave Charles a small card. "That's my office address and hours with my number. I'll be in my office tonight around 7 to 9 if that's alright with you."  
Charles took it and scanned it. "Yes, that's alright."  
"Pickles, that's really kind of you," said the grandmother. "You don't have to do this."  
"I do," Pickles frowned. "I just do."

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
At the park, Pickles was gently pushing a sad Moon Shadow on the swing with Nathan, Skwisgaar, and Toki watching them on a bench.   
"Don't tell Murderface about Moon's inheritance," Nathan told the guitarists. "You know how he is with ancient weapons."  
"I can'ts believes her ancestor is King of Norway," Toki stated. "Wowee."  
"Hey, do you think Pickles would let us read that journal?" asked Nathan. "That's pretty brutal its cover is made out of human flesh."  
"Maybes," shrugged Skwisgaar. "You can sees if he lets us."  
"She ams a real princess!" Toki smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

After trick-or-treating in New York that Toki and Moon Shadow enjoyed so much and Pickles paid the taxes of the houses and Viking items, Moon Shadow said goodbye to her late mother's side of the family and promised to visit them soon before boarding the jet.  
Back at Mordhaus, Dethklok, including Charles, joined the birthday girl for a tea party with her toys and in dresses at a small round table. Pink decorations covered the living room, which made the band sick, but they tried their best to go through it for the toddler.  
Moon Shadow, wearing a princess tiara and a blue dress, went over to Charles, who was in a purple one and a black hat, with a teapot. "More tea, Lady Charlie?"  
"Oh, no thank you, Princess Moon," Charles spoke, but the toddler poured some tea into his cup. "Uh, thank you?"  
The birthday girl nodded with a smile and went over to Pointy, who was sitting next to Charles. "More tea, Lady Pointy?" the toddler leaned over to stare inside the cup. "You didn't drink any of your tea, Lady Pointy. No more tea until you finish your tea."  
Murderface grumbled while tugging at his pink collar on his dress. Nathan forced him to wear it so the bassist wouldn't hurt the birthday girl's feelings. "How long do we have to wear these stupid things? This dress is making me itchy."  
"Until Halloween is over," Nathan, in a green dress, thanked the toddler for the tea and cupcake.  
"Hey, sweetheart," Pickled, in a red dress and sitting next to Nathan, called out. Moon Shadow stopped pouring tea in Skwisgaar's cup, who was wearing an icy-blue dress, and faced her daddy. "How are you feeling? Sleepy?"  
"Why sleepy, daddy?" the toddler asked before going over to Toki, who was in a pink dress and sitting by Skwisgaar to pour tea into his cup. "I'm no sleepy," Moon Shadow let out a yawn. "See?" she set the teapot down on the table before going over to Pickles to climb on his lap. "I'm now sleepy, daddy." Moon Shadow rubbed her face against his chest while yawning.  
"Okay, it's bedtime for you," he stood up with her in his arms. "Say goodnight to everyone."  
"Night-night," she waved bye to them as Pickles carried her out of the living room.  
"Fucking finally," Murderface stood up and took off the dress.  
Everyone else did the same, except for Toki. "Uh, Toki, you can take off the dress," Nathan stated.  
"I likes the dress," Toki smiled before sipping his tea. "I feels prettys in it. Toki will haves more tea partys with Moons."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors. My hand is still injured, and I am in therapy for it. Thank you for everyone who's loving and reading the fanfic. Any errors that I made, please let me know. I was re-watching Birthdayface with subtitles to get everything. LOL

A few weeks after Moon Shadow's birthday, Dethklok was in Germany for their Munich concert, and Moon Shadow was super excited to see her daddy play for the first time. The now 4-year-old was helping the Klokateers carrying the equipment on stage, but the Klokateers politely informed her that she couldn't help them.  
"Daddy," the toddler was pouting while marching toward Pickles backstage. "Daddy, they won't let me help."  
Pickles sipped his beer in the green room with the band when his daughter entered the room. "Huh? What's wrong, honey? Who won't let you help them?"  
"I want to help on stage, but the Kloks told me I can't help them," she frowned.  
"Oh, honey, you really ca-," Pickles stopped himself as he saw her little eyes water. He set his beer down on the table and stood up to walk over to some bags in the corner. "Moony, come here," he called as he knelt before the bags and opened one of them. Moon Shadow did so and hugged Pickles' butt with a giggle. Nathan viewed this and raised a brow.  
"Daddy got a soft butt," she kissed his pants with a smile. "I like daddy's soft butt. It's like a pillow!"  
"Moony, don't do that," Pickles sighed and stood up straight. "Moony, I have something for you to help daddy, okay?" He spun around with a pair of drumsticks in his hands. "Can you hold these for daddy until tonight?"  
"Yes!" the toddler jumped with excitement as Pickles gave her the sticks. "Thwank you, daddy!" Moon Shadow went over to the table and began banging the table and beer bottles with the drumsticks. The band picked up their beer bottles so the toddler wouldn't destroy them.  
"Hey, Moony," Pickles knelt beside her. "No banging glass, okay? The glass will break, and you'll get hurt. You don't want that, do you now?"  
Moon Shadow stopped and looked up at Pickles. "No."  
"Then, no banging on it, okay? You can hit Murderface like a drum," Pickles smiled at his daughter.  
"What!?" Murderface stood up as the toddler giggled and went up to him. "I'll punch her if she comes near me."   
"Don't you hit my daughter," Pickled warned him as the toddler stopped and looked scared at Murderface and Pickles. "Moony, come here. Murderface is joking with you."  
"No, I'm not," Murderface stated.  
"You shut up," Pickles told him while hugging his scared toddler. "After the show, do you want daddy to show how to be a drummer?"  
"I can play the drums because I'm daddy," she replied. "Toki and I play on games after the show. Daddy, how tall are you?"  
"Uhh," Pickles whispered in her ear. "I'm 5'6 and-a-half."  
Moon Shadow smiled and whispered back in his ear. "Okay, I no grow bigger than you, daddy."  
Pickles chuckled and kissed her on the forehead. "You need to grow so you can be strong," the drummer stated.  
"But I no grow because if I grow, then you can no carry me around, daddy," Moon Shadow frowned.  
"Oh, Moony. I'll still carry you if you've grown or not. You'll always be my little girl," Pickles said as the toddler jumped into his arms. "Daddy loves you."  
Charles entered the room with a young female beside him. "Gentlemen and lady," he announced. "This will be Moon Shadow's tutor, Mrs. Carrie White. She will be teaching Moon Shadow until Pickles decides to send her to a school."  
Carrie smiled and waved to the guys with her large bag in her free hand. "Hello!"  
Pickles stood up straight with Moon Shadow in his arms. "What will you be teaching my daughter?"  
"I'll be teaching her how to write, read, and do math," answered Carrie.  
"Can you play the drums?" Moon Shadow stared at the woman.  
"No, but I can play the violin," Carrie giggled.  
"What's that?" the toddler wanted to know.  
"Will you be starting tonight?" questioned Pickles, and Carrie nodded. "That's good for me."  
Moon Shadow made a face and turned to Pickles. "What does that mean, daddy?"  
"It means that your father can perform while you're learning," explained Charles.  
The toddler frowned and shook her head. "I perform while you," she pointed to Charles. "Learn."  
"Uh, that's not how it works, Moon Shadow," Charles pushed his glasses back on his nose with his index finger.  
"Yes, it does," the toddler stated. "I perform, and you learn, Charlie."  
"Oh, I'm afraid, uh, Charlie can't," Carries opened her bag and pulled out a shiny pink, tiny dress. "Fit into this princess dress."  
Moon Shadow gasped in astonishment at the outfit. "Princess dress?! I'm a princess! I'm a princess!"  
"May Princess Moon Shadow join me for a tea party tonight?" beamed Carrie.  
Moon Shadow faced Pickles. "Daddy, will you be sad if I have a tea party with no you?"  
"Daddy will not be sad, Moony," Pickles smiled, and the toddler giggled.  
"Princess Moon Shadow will join you for a tea party," she told Carrie.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During the concert and in the green room, Carrie was teaching Moon Shadow on how to write the toddler's name. The child held a black crayon with her left hand and wrote an M on the sheet on paper. The 4-year-old also wrote two O's and an N.   
"Very good, Moon Shadow!" Carrie clapped. "Can you write shadow under the moon?"  
"S," the little girl wrote a backward S under moon.  
"H," Carrie helped her spell out shadow and watched the girl write out the letter. "A... D... O... And a W." she reviewed the girl's handwriting and smiled. "Amazing work, Moon Shadow. A+!"  
The child jumped off the sofa with a giggle. "I show my daddy!" With that, she ran out of the room with the paper.  
"Moon Shadow, no, wait!" Carrie chased after her.  
Moon Shadow raced past Charles and some Klokateers and stopped when she was on stage. The crowd went quiet when they saw the child. Moon Shadow stood by Skwisgaar and stared at the people when Dethklok stopped playing. The crowd cooed and awed at the girl in the sparkling pink princess dress who danced a little and bowed before making her way toward Nathan. The toddler took Nathan's hand, and the singer knelt to hear her better while covering the microphone against his thigh. "Where's my daddy, Nate-Nate?" She showed him the paper. "I write my name!"  
"He's on the drums," Nathan told her. "He's a bit busy, Moons."  
Pickles quickly climbed down from his post and swooped up the toddler after the lights shut off. "Moony, why did you run on stage for?" the drummer asked his daughter while the girl began kissing his sweaty face. "Okay, okay, okay. Daddy loves and misses you too, Moony."  
"I write my name," she showed him the paper after he gave her to Charles. "Nooo!" The toddler frowned and whined. "I want my daddy!"  
"Can you give daddy five minutes to play, and I'll be with you?" Pickles smiled at the upset toddler.  
"Five minutes," she agreed, and Pickles kissed her cheek before going back to his position, and soon, the lights were back on. Moon Shadow watched him before turning to Charles to kiss his face and stealing his glasses to put on her face with giggles.  
"Okay, no kissing Charlie," Charles stated. "May I have my glasses back, please?"  
"You have to say that you're a pretty princess," the toddler smiled.  
"....I'm a pretty princess," Charles said, and Moon Shadow gave him his glasses back before going back to watch the stage. Charles covered her eyes when Murderface pulled down his pants for his penis to play the bass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at Mordhaus, Dethklok relaxed in the living room by reading, practicing the guitar, resting, and playing games. Moon Shadow sat across from Nathan on the couch and played with some of his hair.  
"Uh, Moony," Pickles cleared his throat while reading the newspaper. "Please don't run on stage like that again, okay? Daddy doesn't want you hurt in case you fall."  
"Is her picture in the paper?" asked Nathan.  
"I sorry," the toddler frowned.  
"Yep," replied Pickles. "It's a good thing that Charles told them that she was a lucky fan's daughter. It's okay, sweetheart. Just don't do it again."  
"Hey, Pickle. Tell Murderface what you just told me about that guy. S' hilarious," spoke Skwisgaar.  
"Oh, right," Pickles scanned the article that he was reading earlier. "That dude that you headbutted. The guy was a Danish Prince. Can you believe that?"   
"Pfft! The Dutch," Skwisgaar said while playing his guitar.  
"Oh, check it out," Pickles continued reading. "He's got a brain contusion and a fractured skull. Oh, and he's last in line for the Danish royalty. That is messed up, dude."  
"Well, that's what he gets for going after my hog," Murderface didn't look away from his wheelchair game.  
"Awesome," agreed Pickles.  
"What's awesome, daddy?" Moon Shadow tilted her head to the side. "Am I awesome? I know I'm awesome. I'm always awesome."  
"You're always awesome, Moony," Pickles smiled at the bright girl.   
"I go eat Charlie's glasses," the child slid off the furniture and ran off.  
"Have fun doing that, sweetheart," Pickles chuckled. "Too cute."  
"Did she says eat Charles' glasses?" asked Toki.  
"I think to eat for a toddler means to steal, so she's going to steal Charles' glasses," Pickles explained.  
Down in the hallway, Moon Shadow stared into the distance when she heard Murderface mumbling something and coming toward her way. She watched him as he passed her, and Moon Shadow headed back to the living room. "Daddy?"  
"Oh, fuck me!" Nathan sat up straight. "We're going to have to get him a gift!"  
"Daddy?" Moon Shadow ran to Pickles and hugged his leg. "I saw something scary in the hallway."  
"Oh, honey. Murderface isn't that scary. Is he now?" Pickles looked at his bandmates for an answer.  
"No. I saw a man with a big robe on with a hood and long hair like Toki's in the hallway," the toddler frowned.  
"Oh, you probably saw one of the female Klokateers. They're nothing to fear, Moony," Pickles picked her up and stood up with her in his arms. "Come on. We have to talk to Charles about something."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moon Shadow sat on Charles' lap with his glasses on her face in the conference room as the giant TV screen showed Murderface's bedroom.  
"How are we supposed to get him a gift?" asked Pickles. "All he wants is morbid crap, and he's already got just about everything. Look!"  
The screen showed Murderface drinking and slamming the bottle onto the floor in front of a Klokateer. "Give that here!" Murderface demanded drunkenly. The rest of Dethklok laughed at the Klokateer kneeling and gathering the pieces before the screen went black. Moon Shadow was too busy putting Charles' glasses back on his face.  
"Can't we just give him some cash?" Pickles questioned. "What's the big deal?"  
"Not like 'por-chase' anything like make something," Toki added.  
"And the birthday cake. It has to be totally metal," Nathan pointed at Charles. "Got it?'  
"Or maybe, like, we get him an endangered species, and then, we could kill it? That'd be cool," Skwisgaar suggested.  
"Noo!" frowned Moon Shadow and slid off Charles' lap before running to Skwisgaar to hit his arm. "No hurting animals!"  
Skwisgaar narrowed his eyes at the drummer. "Pickle, your broken condom ams hitting me."  
"Moony, come here," the toddler went over to Pickles and climbed on his lap to hug him. "We talked about this. Don't hit people unless they hit you first, that way you won't get arrested because it'll be self-defense."  
"I was protecting the cute animals, daddy, from Skwishy's mean words," Moon Shadow yawned and rubbed her face against his face. Pickles knew that it was almost time for Moon Shadow's nap.  
"I just read about this thing online you can buy a star and name it," Skwisgaar resumed. "Like, what if we named it, like, Muhammad Ali, the black prizefighter? That would be his gift." The room was silent. "Fuck you."  
"Wait a minute! I got it," Nathan had an idea. "We'll give him the blackest, most meaningless gift of all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moon Shadow woke up from her nap later that evening, just in time before the party. The toddler went to the potty and washed her hands before racing toward the main room that the party was in with her rainbow xylophone toy in hands. The girl smiled when she saw her father and Nathan talking in the hallway. She ran up to them with a smile. "Daddy! Nate-Nate! Can I be the flower girl, please?"  
The two bandmates raised a brow at her question. "For what, sweetheart?" asked Pickles.  
"You and Nate-Nate's wedding, daddy," she giggled, and Pickles grew red as Nathan facepalmed. "I be the flower girl!"  
"Moons," Nathan sighed. "Your daddy and I are not dating or anything. We're just friends."  
"Where did you get that idea from, Moony?" Pickles knelt before her. The drummer needed to know who started this rumor. "Who told you?"  
Moon Shadow looked down at her instrument and changed the subject. "I play in the party with you. I have my music toy, daddy."  
Pickles lowered his head in defeat. The drummer looked up at his smiling daughter and decided to ask her later tonight. He kissed her forehead and stood up. "Do you want her to play with us, Nathan?" Pickles turned to the singer.  
Nathan shrugged. "I guess she can play with us."  
Moon Shadow cheered and went over to hug Nathan's leg. "Thwank you, Nate-Nate!"  
Nathan hummed and gently patted the girl's head. "Come on. Let's go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moon Shadow, wearing the corpse-looking makeup, sat between the standing guitarists while watching the party crowd. She had her little xylophone in front of her and was getting bored.  
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the party. And as you all know, no party is complete without a birthday party clown. And we have one of the finest Rock N' Roll clowns around, so please," Nathan introduced, and Moon Shadow smiled when Nathan said the word clown. "Put -- your hands tog -- you know, here comes the Rock N' Roll clown."  
A man in a yellow jumpsuit with pink, fluffy hair came siding in on his knees. "K-K-K-K-K YEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" The crowd moaned in disappointment, and Murderface looked annoyed.  
Moon Shadow frowned and stood up with her music toy to walk over to Nathan. She didn't pay attention to what the clown was doing because she was talking to Nathan about playing her instrument. "Nate-Nate, can I play a song after him?" the toddler pointed to Dr. Rockzo who was getting a balloon shove down his throat. "I can play happy birthday."  
Nathan shrugged. "Sure, Moon Shadow, go for it."  
Moon Shadow cheered and sat down in front of him with her xylophone before her and Nathan's microphone. She began playing the happy birthday song and sang. "Happy, happy, happy, happy birthday to Muddy-face," the rest of Dethklok covered their mouths so no one could hear their laughter. "YOU BELONG IN A ZOO!" she growled that in the microphone, and Dethklok stared at her with widened eyes. "YOU SMELL LIKE POOP AND MAKE THE CHILDREN CRYING!" Moon Shadow screeched the word crying. "YOU ARE A SMELLY," she deep-growled into the microphone, and the crowd was watching her with fear in their eyes. Moon Shadow went back to her normal cute voice. "Happy birthday to you." She stood up and gave the microphone back to Nathan. "Thwank you, Nate-Nate," the toddler gathered her things and walked backstage to go to the restroom, missing the band's song and the empty box opening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pickles helped Moon Shadow with her camouflage outfit after cleaning the makeup off her face. She yawned and snuggled in his arms. "I'm sleepy, daddy."  
"Can you stay up for a few minutes?" he smiled. "We're going to jump in the sky."  
Moon Shadow rolled her eyes at him and shook her head. "Fine," she groaned. "If you want me to stay up, daddy."  
Pickles chuckled and hooked the toddler to his chest. "Comfy, Moony?" No answer. "Moony?" He looked down at his chest to see the sleeping and snoring girl. The drummer chuckled and kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight, sweetheart."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors. I was falling asleep at the ending.

"Moony, stop telling everyone that my butt is a pillow," Pickles as getting annoyed with his toddler daughter. It has been over two months since the child began saying that, and now, it was getting on the drummer's last nerves. "Daddy's butt is not a pillow, okay?"  
"Oh, okay," the toddler slid off the sofa and went over to Nathan, who was reading the newspaper. "Nate-Nate, it's your turn to tell everyone that daddy's butt is a pillow." Pickles just facepalmed.  
Moon Shadow giggled and ran to Skwisgaar to sit down in front of him to watch him practice the guitar. "Hi!"  
"Er, hi," Skwisgaar stopping playing and stared at the tiny human before him. He raised a brow when Toki sat down next to the toddler and joined her with the staring at him.  
Moon Shadow turned to Toki with a confused look. "Toki, are you copy me?"  
"Yes," Toki smiled at the girl. "I copies yous."  
"Oh," she smiled before standing up. "Daddy, can Toki and me watch cartoons?"  
"Huh? Oh, sure," Pickles hit his foot remote on the floor to turn on the TV. "Happy Tree Friends? That looks promising for a toddler. Okay, Moony, watch this." Moon Shadow cheered with Toki as they and the rest of Dethklok watched the cartoon. "Hey, it's a cute animal cartoon, Moony." Moon Shadow nodded in agreement and smiled at the show. Within the first minute of the video, Pickles' eyes widened at the gore. "Hell no!" He immediately turned it off.  
"Hey!" Moon Shadow and Toki whined and spun around to face Pickles.  
"No way, I'm not letting you watch such violence, Moony," Pickles informed. "No freaking way!"  
"But daddy," the toddler looked at him with sad eyes and a frown.  
"No, Moony," Pickles shook his head. "You're not watching that thing or any cartoons unless it's fine by me."  
Moon Shadow turned to Nathan with tears in her eyes. "Nate-Nate?"  
"Uh, Pickles, don't you think you're overdoing it?" asked Nathan. "There's violence around us, every day."  
"Nathan, I'm not overdoing it for my daughter's innocence," Pickles replied. "She's too young for that! Moon Shadow, you're grounded from that show." Moon Shadow began crying and stood up to run to Nathan to bury her face in his thigh. Pickles' face softened when Nathan picked up the girl and let her cry in his chest. The drummer didn't mean to break her heart. He didn't want to be a bad father. "Moony?" Pickles stepped close to Nathan with his hands outstretched. "Moony, I'm sorry for yelling."  
Moon Shadow poked her red face out from Nathan's shirt and glared at Pickles. She slapped his hands away from her. "No!" At least, she wasn't crying anymore.  
Pickles frowned when she hit his hands. Nathan hummed before standing up and pushing Pickles on the sofa to sit down and placing Moon Shadow next to her father. "Moon, your father doesn't want you to watch that show because he doesn't want you to copy any of their actions. He loves you, and you hitting him, and, uh, you know, being mad at him. It hurts his feelings."  
Moon Shadow's eyes widened with sadness as she stood up on the sofa. The toddler made her way to Pickles and hugged him tightly. "I sorry, daddy." Pickles hugged her back. "You're too old to get your feelings hurt. I love you."  
"I'm not that old, but I love you too," Pickles corrected her.  
"You're only an old baby, daddy," she let go of him and slid off the furniture to the coffee table. Moon Shadow picked up a beer bottle and gave it to Nathan. "Here you go, Nate-Nate."  
Nathan took the bottle from the child. "Uh, thanks," the beer was his in the beginning.  
"You're welcome, daddy's boyfriend," she smiled and grabbed another bottle to give to Pickles.  
"Moony!" Pickles groaned and sighed while taking the glass.  
"What?" the girl gave Murderface and Skwisgaar beer bottles before going to Toki with a bottle. "Toki, can you drink this?"  
"Yes, I cans," he smiled and took the item when the child gave it to him.  
"Drink up all your apple juices, everyone!" she announced to the men.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charles was in his office when the drunken Dethklok came in with a giggling Moon Shadow in Pickles' arms.  
"Charlie!" a drunk Nathan yelled. "We want to do a phone thingy!"  
"Yeah, a phony thingy," Murderface agreed.  
Charles raised a brow at this and eyed Moon Shadow. "What are they talking about?"  
"They want to make a cellphone," she laughed as Pickles gave her a blowing raspberry on her tummy.  
Charles pushed his glasses up to his nose and nodded. "I see."  
"It has to be a brutal cell phone with an equally brutal service contract," Nathan ordered.  
"With spikes ands horns ands everything!" added Toki.  
"With unicorns!" Moon Shadow threw that out there.  
"And unicorns!" Dethklok copied before taking another gulp of their beers.  
"So, you all want a spikey cell phone with unicorns and equally service?" Charles questioned. "Tell me, why now?"  
"If they forgot to go potty and go potty in their pants, then they'll use to call to get new pants," Moon Shadow explained.  
"Ja, whatevers she said," Skwisgaar hiccuped and vomited in a trash bin behind him. "Cute little goofball."  
"And we will... We will... We will kill you if you don't do that!" Nathan leaned against the wall and grinned. "Got it?"  
"And daddy and Nate-Nate are married!" the tiny redhead cheered, and Charles raised both brows at her words. Moon Shadow lifted Pickles' hand to show Charles a red knotted string around his pinky. "Nate-Nate has one around his pinky, too, and daddy said that I'm a real princess. Now, excuse us, Charlie, but I need to put the babies to bed. Goodnight, Charlie-Charlie. Say goodnight to Charlie-Charlie, big babies."  
"Goodnight, Charlie-Charlie," Dethklok waved bye to the agent before exiting the office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Explaining to a stubborn toddler that his bandmate and he are just friends was difficult for Pickles. It was now April, and Charles was forcing Dethklok to go to Finland to apologize for nearly destroying the country the last time they showed up. Pickles couldn't take Moon Shadow with him on the trip because of the toddler's cold. The tiny human wanted to go with her daddy, but Pickles didn't want to take the chance of her getting sicker.  
"Hey, sweetheart," he tucked her in his bed since she loved sleeping in it. "I know you want to go with me, but we can after you get better, okay?"  
"When will you be back, daddy?" Moon Shadow frowned and hugged her Pointy.  
"In a few days," he smiled. "Your auntie and grandparents will be here at any minute to take care of you. Won't that be fun?" Moon Shadow nodded before falling asleep. "Daddy loves you," Pickles kissed her forehead before leaving.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors.

Moon Shadow set the purple crayon down on the coffee table and smiled at the sheet of paper before her. She clapped her hands and stood up to turn to Pickles. "Daddy?" she began. "Daddy, can we go to the food park? I made a list!"  
Pickles, who was trying to see how his new Dethphone works, hummed an answer to his toddler daughter. "Sure, honey. Whatever you want to do. Who put a unicorn farting sound for one of the ringtones?"  
Moon Shadow picked up her list and went over Pickles to give him the paper. "Daddy, this is my food list! Look, look, look!"  
"In a minute, Moony," Pickles waved a hand at her.  
Moon Shadow snarled and slapped his phone out of his hands. "No."  
"Hey!" Pickles blinked and sighed when the phone met the floor. "Moony," he turned to the little girl. "Do you want daddy's attention, 24/7?" Moon Shadow smiled and nodded for her answer. "Okay, you have daddy's attention. I'll be your paparazzi." The tiny human tilted her head in confusion. "Oh, it means that I'll follow you and take pictures and stuff from you."  
"Okay!" she giggled and gave him the paper. "I made a list of food for the food park."  
Pickles took the paper. "Food park? Oh, you mean grocery store! Right, right," he read what was on the paper and raised a brow. "Hey, Moony? Your, uh, spelling is getting pretty good. You wrote apple right, but, uh, what are the else of the words?"  
"I put down cheese, candy, milk, apple juice for you and the rest of the babies, apple and orange juice for me, and smoothies for mommy," she pointed to the corner.  
Pickles looked at her finger's direction and saw nothing. "Uh, okay? Sweetie, we have all that in the kitchen. Why do you want to the grocery store and on a Saturday?"  
"Because," the little girl smiled.  
"Because, why?"  
"Because," she giggled and climbed onto the couch and hugged him. Moon Shadow cooed when she looked behind him. She grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and smiled at the money inside of it. "Whoa, money. My money," the child jumped off the couch with Pickles' wallet and sat down on the carpet while dropping it before her.  
Pickles watched as the little girl began counting the bills. "Moony, what number is that?" he pointed to the hundred dollar bill.  
"One, zero, zero," she answered while smelling it. "It smells like farts, daddy. Daddy, did you fart on the money?"  
Pickles took the bill and sniffed it. It wasn't a fart, but marijuana. The last time he smoked weed was when after Moon Shadow went to bed and having sex with some groupies. This kid could sleep through a bomb explosion. "Daddy will get you new money that will smell like, uh, whatever you want it to smell like."  
"So, you did fart on the money?" the toddler gathered all the money and wallet and placed them on his lap. "Why?"  
"Because my ass wanted to," he rolled his eyes.  
"Daddy will give me money?" Moon Shadow gasped with happiness. "Like a paycheck?"  
"Well, yes, in a way," Pickles collected his money inside of his wallet and put it back into his pocket.  
Moon Shadow cheered and clapped her hands together. "Can we go to the food park now, daddy?"  
"Okay, okay," Pickles stood up and groaned while stretching his arms and back. "Oh, that's the spot." He picked up the giggling toddler and headed toward the garage. "We're going in the dethshuttle, Moony. Do you know what a dethshuttle is?"  
The little girl shook her head. "A bus?"  
"Correct, it's a bus," he spoke while Moon Shadow smiled. "It's a shuttle bus. We go places in it like to the mall and the parks."  
"And wedding store for you and Nate-Nate?" she asked.  
Pickles pressed his lips together in annoyance, stopped walking, and held the child up before him in arm's length. "Moony, why do you think Nathan and I are together?"  
"Because," she giggled and swung her feet in the air.  
"Because?"  
"Because you look so cute in a dress, daddy, and Nate-Nate is your boyfriend like me and Skwishy."  
"Skwisgaar is not your boyfriend, Moony."  
"He is too, daddy," she pouted cutely at him.  
Pickles sighed. "You can date Toki, okay?"  
Moon Shadow thought for a moment and nodded. "Okay, Toki be my boyfriend."  
Pickles pulled Moon Shadow back to his chest and began walking. They made it to the garage and unlocked the dethshuttle. Pickles buckled Moon Shadow in the passenger's seat and made his way to the driver's side. He started the bus and drove out of the garage. The little girl clapped her hands while enjoying the ride. "Now, Moony, we are only getting the items on the list. No extra things, okay?"  
"Okay, but daddy, I want curly hair," she smiled while staring at him. "Like you!"   
"My hair isn't curly," Pickles pointed out.  
"It's not?"  
"No."  
"Oh," Moon Shadow lowered her head with a frown.  
Pickles bit his lip when he saw her frown and cleared his throat. "I mean, it was curly and we'll get it curly again after shopping."  
Moon Shadow gasped and cheered. This kid could get excited about anything under the sun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After parking in the grocery store's lot and wiping down a cart to put Moon Shadow in, Pickles entered the store with a joyful child and her list. Luckily, no one but a few employees and them was in the store.  
"Daddy, I wanna walk with you," she said. "I won't leave your side, I promise."  
"Alright," he smiled and picked her up to set her down on the floor. The toddler seized his pant leg and walked with him through the aisle. "Do we need anything from this aisle?"  
Moon Shadow scanned the shelves and looked at her list. "Chips!"  
"What kind of chips?"  
"Mommy always gets me the puff chips so they don't hurt my mouth," she replied.   
Pickles nodded and grabbed the Cheetos Puffs bag and tossed it in the cart. "What else is on the list?"  
"Apple juices!" Moon Shadow ran down the aisle with Pickles behind her. She stopped at the end when she saw the cheese shelf. "Daddy, we need to get cheese!"  
"Then go get some," Pickles leaned against the cart.  
Moon Shadow nodded and searched for the one that she liked the best. She awed when she found one with holes in it. "Holey," she picked it up and carried it to the cart. "Daddy, what's this?"  
Pickles took it from her and studied it. "It's Swiss cheese, honey. Skwishy is Swedish."  
The toddler gasped. "Put it in! Put it in!" she yelled while jumping.  
"Wait, is it on the list?" Pickles questioned. Moon Shadow quickly nodded without looking at the paper. "Okay," he put the cheese in the cart. "Oh!" he spotted a case of wine next to the cheese shelves and rolled the cart to it with his daughter beside him. Pickles grabbed the case of wine, but Moon Shadow stopped him.  
"Wait, what is that?" she ordered to know.  
"Oh, it's, uh, uh, uh, cranberry juice for daddy's kidneys," he lied. "It helps daddy so he won't get sick."  
"Is it on the list?"  
"Yes," Pickles lied again.  
"Okay, but get more for everyone's kidneys, daddy, and me too."  
"Oh, your cranberry juice is in another aisle," explained Pickles while packing the cart with the wine. "This juice is for adults."  
"Oh," she watched him and the cart. "Hey, that's too much juice, daddy! What about the other things on my list?"  
"We can put them on top. Don't worry," he patted her head with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the next hour, the duo packed three carts worth of food and items that were on the 'list' and into the bus. The two redheads made it back to Mordhaus with the groceries in the living room.  
Moon Shadow, now with curly hair, was showing the rest of Dethklok the groceries she got. She pulled out the cheese and placed it on Skwisgaar's lap. "Here you go."  
Skwisgaar stopped practicing his guitar and raised a brow at the thing and the girl. "What's dis?"  
"It's Swiss cheese!" she announced.  
"That ams nots Swedish cheese," he stated.  
"It is too, and I'm too prettier than you to yell," she flicked the ends of her curly locks at him before going back to the bags to pull out hot dogs. "Willy, I got you hot dogs," she put them on his lap before heading back to the bags. Murderface gave her a death glare. "Daddy got everyone cranberry and apple juices," she pulled out a bottle of beer and wine.  
The rest of Dethklok awed and nodded in agreement. "Thanks, Pickle," smiled Toki at the curly-haired drummer. Pickles' hair was down to his butt.  
"Don't drink this all at once or else you'll be going potty all day," warned Moon Shadow.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late and short chapter. My hand is getting worse to where I can't make a fist without pain. My therapy thinks I torn something in the palm itself and not the fingers. I'm seeing my hand doctor on the 11th to see what he think is the problem. Surgery? I don't know.
> 
> P.S. Eric Bloodaxe is a real Viking turned Ruler. Google him.

The next day, Dethklok and Moon Shadow were in the Mordhaus library. Moon Shadow was with Carrie on reading learning books, and the band with an Ancient Norwegian translator along with Charles were in the distance with the Viking Ruler Eric Bloodaxe's journal.  
"Why didn't anyone tell me about this?" asked Murderface while he and the rest of the men put on white gloves. "I had to force Toki to tell me. You guys are assholes."  
"Thanks, Toki," said Pickles in annoyance. "You loudmouth."  
"Hey! He hurts my nipples," Toki rubbed his chest with a frown.  
"I'll be happy to buy that sword," smiled Murderface. "It'll look great in my collection and my room."  
"You're not buying my daughter's inheritances," hissed Pickles.  
"Shall I begin?" asked the translator to the men. The band and Charles nodded while Toki pouted.  
"I don'ts see why I ams nots reading it," Toki spoke.  
"Toki, how does I say this nicely," Skwisgaar began. "Your English is nos good."  
"Drittsekk," Toki huffed.  
The translator carefully opened the human-skinned journal and awed. "The words on this page proved that Eric Bloodaxe did see the future."  
"What do you mean?" asked Nathan.  
"The words are: 'To Jonathan Bloodaxe: You're my last Bloodaxe heir so please don't fight in the world wars,'" the translator replied. "There was a Jonathan Bloodaxe who died at age 17 in 1917 during the first world war. Jonathan was the last male Bloodaxe, and the bloodline continued in his sister's family." The translator turned the page and began reading. "My children are cursed for I angered the gods and Death. I should be in my grave right now, but I escaped the gods' grips before stealing and eating one of the Grim Reaper's eyes."  
"Wowee," Toki gasped. "He eats Death's eye?"  
"A theory of Eric is he was the child of the death god," the translator stated.  
"So, that sentence proved that the theory is true?" questioned Pickles.  
"Let's read on," the translator spoke and continued. "I woke up in a bed to see Gunnhild, that's his wife, over me. I sat up and let out a scream, but it wasn't my voice that was screaming. It was the god that I've stolen his eye."  
"I don't get it," Murderface said.  
"The language and writing back then were confusing like Shakespeare," the translator explained. "Eric is writing that he escaped the afterlife by attacking the Grim Reaper. When he woke up, he let out a scream, and it was the death god's scream."  
In the distance, Moon Shadow looked up from her lesson, slid out of her chair, and went over to Pickles. "Daddy? Daddy?"  
Pickles faced his daughter and smiled. "Yes, sweetie?"  
The toddler stretched out her arms for him to pick her up. Pickles did so, and Moon Shadow giggled. "I'm on break. Moony no like how daddy put his hair back to his old hair," she stared at the book. "What's that?"  
"A journal," Pickles responded.  
"No, it's not," the girl spoke. "That's a book. Daddy, you need to go back to school."  
"..." Pickles rolled his eyes and patted her head before kissing her on the head. "Maybe later."  
"We are reading the journal of Eric Bloodaxe," the translator smiled at the young girl. "Are you Moon Shadow?"  
She nodded before burying her face in Pickles' shoulder. "I'm sleepy. I sleep on daddy."  
"That's her cue of saying she's shy," Pickles informed. "She did that at the hairstylist yesterday."  
The translator nodded and continued the reading. "Eric wrote that he wishes to inform his children about their marriages, children, and deaths on the following pages," the translator turned the page and scanned the words. "I believe this one is about you, Mr. Pickles. It reads: My soldier grandchild will award the red man who controls the beats of all the hearts a daughter. She will be the treasure that he seeks," Pickles smiled at the words. Moon Shadow was like his treasure. "Mr. Pickles, I'm afraid this may be about your daughter," Pickles paid attention as the translator read. "The moon cries upon the roof where she hides. She smiles at the men and women below her as she speaks to the heavens. Before her, is the one who gives her a son and fear. Thee touch her womb before her crimson hit the ground."  
"Wait, what does that mean?" Pickles raised a brow.  
The translator took off their glasses. "I have no words to explain King Eric's writing. Speaks to the heavens could mean your daughter can talk to the gods. Excuse me, gentlemen, but I have to go to my classes before 2:30. May we resume the reading in the future?" Charles nodded, and the translator smiled. "Thank you. I bid you all a good weekend."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the 2 months hiatus. A lot of things has happened within the time. My hand, the death anniversary of my loved ones, this virus, me getting very sick and still am, etc. But today is my birthday! (April 8th at 10:40pm CST). Happy 25th birthday to me! The story that Moon Shadow wrote will be an extra and is still being work on. So, enjoy this short chapter of Dethkomedy.

"I love you more, daddy," smiled Moon Shadow while holding onto Pickles' leg and staring up at him as he tried walking into the living room.  
"Yes, yes, Moony. I love you too, sweetheart," Pickles halted and bent over to pick up the toddler in his arms. They traveled over to sit next to Nathan.  
Moon Shadow hugged Pickles tightly around the neck and kissed his face repeatedly. "My daddy! I love you, daddy!"  
Nathan shifted his eyes toward the two. He noticed for the last month that the toddler has been too clingy toward Pickles. After the April concerts, Pickles' groupies had to leave because Moon Shadow was sick so suddenly, but she was better after a few hours. Nathan had a feeling that she was faking sicknesses to get Pickles' attention.  
"Moony, honey," Pickles stopped her kissing his face. "I have to use the bathroom. Can you wait here until I come back?" Moon Shadow nodded, and Pickles set her on the seat before standing up and walking away. Moon Shadow stared at Nathan for a second before sliding off the spot and running after Pickles.  
"Pickles, she's following you!" Nathan called after the drummer.  
Pickles spun around to see the smiling toddler behind him. He sighed and knelt as the girl hugged him. "Okay, Moony. Daddy needs to go to the bathroom. I'll be back, don't worry."  
"I go potty too, daddy?" Pickles wasn't sure if that was a statement or a question, but Pickles decided not to take the chance and let her follow him. Moon Shadow held her father's hand tightly as she skipped to the toilets.

~~~~~~~~~

In the meeting room, Moon Shadow cuddled into Pickles' lap with her hands wrapped tightly around his neck. The band and Charles all stared at the toddler who was giving the men death glaring looks.  
"Pickles, don't you think Moon Shadow is being like an obsessive stalker to you?" asked Nathan.  
Pickles sighed. "She's not a stalker. She's just clingy, and I can see that."  
"I no stalker because daddy is MY daddy," Moon Shadow stuck her tongue out at Nathan.  
"Can we discuss the lawsuit that some of your fans are suing you about?" questioned Charles. "This is important."  
"No," Moon Shadow smiled at Charles and giggled. "My fans are in my room."  
"Honey, fans as in humans," Pickles corrected her. "Not your cooling fans."  
"My fans are cool, daddy," Moon Shadow smiled. "I got cool fans."  
"Pickles, do you have any plans on taking her out of the public eye for a while while we're on this lawsuit?" asked Charles while staring at Moon Shadow, who was pinching Pickles' cheeks with a giggle.  
"Yeah," Pickles looked down at his daughter. "Moony, how would you like to stay with your aunt in New York for a few weeks?" he smiled.  
Moon Shadow stopped the pinching and giggles while looking into Pickles' eyes. "No."  
"Please, Moony? It'll be for a few weeks," Pickles added.  
Moon Shadow frowned. "No, I stay with you, daddy," she jumped off his lap, dropped on her knees, and put her head on the floor to cry. "I stay with daddy!!"  
Pickles sighed and got out of his seat to bend over to pick up the crying toddler. "Moony, Moony, Moony, look at me." Moon Shadow did so with tears rolling down her red cheeks and giving her daddy a cute pout. "It'll be for a few weeks, and after that, we can go see pony land."  
"Pony land?" Moon Shadow blinked and wiped her tears. Pickles nodded with a smile. Moon Shadow blew her nose in Pickles' shirt and smiled at him. "Okay!"  
Pickles made a face of disgust when the toddler did that and closed his eyes to take in a deep breath. "Excuse me for a minute. I need to change," he walked out with Moon Shadow in arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After changing his booger-stained shirt, Pickles called Moon Shadow's Aunt Jennifer while packing the toddler a suitcase.  
"It will be for a few weeks for the most," Pickles explained to Jennifer on the phone.  
"She'll need to go to daycare with my son while I'm at work, Pickles," Jennifer said on the phone's loudspeaker. "It's like $200 a week, and she'll be getting some schooling and making new friends."  
Moon Shadow gasped at the word friends and stopped jumping on her bed. "Auntie, did you say friends? Daddy, can I have friends, please? I'll be a good Moony, please?"  
"I'll send you the money for the daycare and babysitting," replied Pickles.  
Moon Shadow cheered and hugged Pickles tightly around his neck. "Thank you, daddy!"  
"Thank your aunt," Pickles corrected and hugged her back.  
"Thank you, auntie. I'll be a good Moony because I have manners," Moon Shadow said to the phone.  
Jennifer chuckled. "I'll see you in a few hours."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

After picking Moon Shadow up and driving her to Jennifer's house, Jennifer allowed the toddler and son to play outside for a while as she unpacked the girl's suitcase and fixed her bed. It was amazing to have her niece back home. She remembered Moon Shadow and Pepper visiting her and her son. She couldn't believe that it has been almost a year... Almost a year without her sister. The last time she saw her niece was her Pepper's funeral.  
Jennifer stopped making the spare bed and knelt beside it to cry. She missed holding her sister, talking to her sister, laughing with her sister, eating with her sister, and being with Pepper.  
"Auntie?" Jennifer halted her crying and turned around to see Moon Shadow standing in the doorway. "Auntie, are you okay?"  
Jennifer wiped her tears and nodded. "Yes, Moons. I'm okay," she lied as Moon Shadow walked over to her and hugged Jennifer. "I'm fine, sweetheart. Are you hungry?"  
"Yes, and can I call daddy, please?" Moon Shadow asked with a smile.  
"Sure, honey," Jennifer smiled back and pulled out her flip phone to dial Pickles' number before giving it to Moon Shadow.  
"Hello, daddy?" Moon Shadow took the phone and spoke into it. "Hey, daddy. How are you?"  
"I'm doing good, sweetheart," said Pickles on the other line.  
"I miss you, daddy. Do you miss me?"  
"Yes, I miss you, Moony. Are you being a good Moony for your aunt?"  
"Yes, I'm being a good Moony for auntie, daddy. When are you coming here?"  
"In a few weeks, honey. Are you getting homesick?"  
"How long are a few weeks? No, I'm not at home to be sick."  
Pickles chuckled. "At least 14 days, and homesick is where you're missing home."  
"Oh, 14 days is a long time. I'm missing you and Toki and Nate-Nate and Skwishy and Charlie and Murderface."  
"I promise that 14 days will come by so fast, and I'll tell them that you miss them."  
"Okay, daddy. Don't forget that I'm the flower girl for yours and Nate-Nate's wedding, okay?" Moon Shadow smiled.  
"Moony, I thought we talked about this," Pickles' voice was serious. "Nathan and I are-"  
"Together, daddy," Moon Shadow interrupted him. "You two are so no lying, daddy. I got to go. I love you so much, daddy."  
Pickles sighed. "I love you too, Moony. Goodnight."  
"I'll call you at 3 in the morning," she sang before hanging up. "Daddy is better."  
"Did your daddy miss you, sweetheart?" Jennifer took her phone back.  
"Daddy did miss me a lot," the toddler replied. "Auntie Jenny, can I write daddy a story, please?"  
Jennifer smiled. "Of course, honey. I'll help you write it down."

~~~~~~~~~~~

On the 13th night, Jennifer set up her webcam on her computer for her niece to video chat with Pickles. The toddler was in her mermaid PJ's and bouncing on her heels with giggles.  
"I get to see daddy!" the girl cheered and ran around in a circle. "I get to see daddy!"  
Jennifer chuckled and turned on the webcam and computer. She blinked in surprise by the sight of Pickles. "Oh, Pickles. What happened to you? You look like you haven't slept in days."  
"It's a long story, Jennifer," Pickles answered.  
"DADDY!" Moon Shadow yelled and quickly raced to the computer. She gasped when she saw her father. "Daddy, it's you!"  
Pickles smiled at Moon Shadow. "Hi, Moony. How are you?"  
"Daddy, I made new friends and I made a story," Moon Shadow smiled. "Look! I'm wearing my mermaid PJ's, daddy!" The toddler lifted her shirt to show up her belly button to Pickles.  
"Moons, that's your tummy," Jennifer corrected the child and pulled down Moon Shadow's top.  
Pickles smiled more at his silly daughter's action. "Wow, Moony. That's so cool, and you wrote a story. By yourself?"  
Moon Shadow leaned closer to the webcam and nodded. "By myself, and I want to read it to you and Toki and Nate-Nate and Skwishy and Murderface and Charlie, okay? I'll tell you tomorrow okay, daddy?"  
"Oh, okay, sweetheart," Pickles paused for a moment. "You should go to bed, honey. I love you."  
"I love you more, daddy," Moon Shadow kissed the webcam. "Goodnight, daddy."  
"Goodnight, Moony," Pickles watched as Jennifer picked up the toddler and carried her out of the living room before turning off his webcam.


	12. Extra: Moon Shadow's Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is written by a 4-year-old.

After picking up Moon Shadow and driving her back to Mordhaus, Pickles listened to her story of how fun Aunt Jennifer was and how she made new friends.  
"Daddy, I wrote a story in daycare!" the toddler smiled as Pickles unpacked her suitcase while she jumped on her bed. "Do you remember I told you that I'll read it to you, Nate-Nate, Toki, Charlie, Skwishy, and Murderface?"  
"Yes, I remember," Pickles answered her as he spotted a bra buried in the suitcase with her clothes. "Uh, Moony, did you take your auntie's bra?"  
Moon Shadow stopped jumping on the bed and nodded. "It feels so soft."  
Pickles sighed and pulled out his phone to text Jennifer about the toddler stealing her bra. "You do remember that stealing is wrong, yes?"  
Moon Shadow nodded and frowned. "I like the pretty colors."  
Pickles leaned forward to kiss the toddler's forehead. "Silly girl."  
Moon Shadow giggled and slid off the bed to go to her backpack to pull out a small notebook. "Daddy, this is my story. Can you please go to Charlie's small box room with the band?"  
"Do you mean his office?" Pickles asked the toddler.  
"Yes, his small box room office. Now, go gather the little kitties!" Moon Shadow cheered while pointing to her bedroom door.  
Pickles raised a brow before getting up and exiting the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Charles' office, the band sat on the couches with Charles at his desk. "So, you're saying is that Moon Shadow ordered you to come in here for?" Charles was trying to wrap his head around this.  
"She wrote a story and wanted to share it," answered Pickles.  
A small knock entered the air along with a tiny 'May I come in please?' voice. Charles got up and opened the door for Moon Shadow, who was dragging her tiny wagon behind her.  
"Thank you, Charlie," the toddler giggled and walked in with her toy wagon. "Wait, you need this," she dug through the toys in her wagon and pulled out a Dumbledore stuffed doll. "Here you go," Moon Shadow gave it to Charles before going over to the band. "A king teddy bear for daddy," she gave Pickles a Teddy Bear King Ludwig II of Bavaria. Moon Shadow went back to her wagon to pull out a Harry Potter Hungarian Horntail dragon. "Murderface, you're the dragon," the toddler gave him the toy before going back to get the rest of the toys.  
The band raised a brow at the items that the girl was giving them.  
"Yeah, Moons," spoke Nathan while looking down at his knight teddy bear in his hand. "What's going on?"  
"It's part of my story, Nate-Nate," she smiled and pulled out her small notebook from the bottom of the empty wagon. "We need to sit in a circle, please."  
"I would rather sit on the couch," opposed Murderface.  
Moon Shadow frowned. "But it's for the story, please."  
"Sweetheart, how long is this story?" asked Pickles.  
"Only 5 minutes, daddy," replied Moon Shadow.  
"See, Murderface? Five minutes of sitting on the floor won't kill you," smirked Pickles while sitting next to the toddler on the floor.  
Everyone sat in the circle with their items. Moon Shadow smiled with glee and opened the notebook. "Before I start, I need to tell you about your roles. Daddy is the King in the story, and I'm the Princess. Charlie is the Wizard, and Nate-Nate is the Knight. Murderface is the Dragon, and Skwishy is the Dragon's Keeper. I'm sorry that I couldn't find a dragon's keeper toy, Skwishy. I hope the white owl toy will do for your role, and Toki is the Villager turned Prince."  
"Uh, Moony, do you know how a villager turns into a prince in the royal family?" questioned Pickles as he stared at the Robin Hood doll in Toki's hand.  
Moon Shadow nodded. "They asked nicely to be one, daddy. I know my history." Pickles put up his hands and said nothing after that. "Now, let's begin the story."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Story:

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Mordhaus was a king and his daughter. The King was the most handsome man, and everyone loved him. The Princess was super pretty that no flower could outshine her.

One day while walking in the flower garden, a Dragon came and took the King away and ruined the flower garden. The Princess saw this and ordered the guards to get her daddy back. The guards tried to by throwing hotdogs at the Dragon, but the Dragon hissed at the guards and flew away with the King. The Princess was sad and ran to the Wizard for help.  
"My Princess," said the Wizard. "My powers are telling me that the King is going to the dangerous side of the Kingdom. The Dragon is taking him to the Dragon's Keeper's snowy, white castle."  
"Who's the Dragon's Keeper?" asked the Princess.  
"The Dragon's Keeper was once the most handsome man in the Kingdom before your daddy. It was jealously that made him evil."  
"How do we get my daddy back?" questioned the Princess.  
"You must find the bravest knight in all the land to save your daddy," answered the Wizard. "Only he will save him."

So the Princess did that. She searched high and low for the bravest knight to save the King until she found him. This Knight had long black hair and tall and strong and soft like a teddy bear.  
"Oh, my Princess," said the Knight as he bowed before her. "I came from the Kingdom of Chips to rescue your father."  
"You must bring him back alive or else off with your head," the Princess ordered, and the Knight nodded.

So after leaving the Kingdom of Mordhaus on feet many hours ago, the Knight spotted a happy Villager in his fields.  
"Hello!" smiled the Villager with a wave to the Knight. "Where's your pony?"  
The Knight cleared his throat and fixed his pants because they were getting all sweaty from the heat. "I no got a pony."  
The Villager gasped before going into his cabin and coming back out with a pink unicorn. "Here. Take my unicorn. I have a million more in my house."  
The Knight thanked him before getting on the unicorn and flying away. "Weeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!" cheered the Knight as it was a super fun ride.

On the other dangerous side of the Kingdom, the Dragon's Keeper was laughing like a madman as the King was in chains in the castle with the Dragon.  
"I have you now," yelled the Dragon's Keeper in his white king outfit. "I will rule the Kingdom of Mordhaus, and sentence you to death in the middle of the Kingdom."  
"Yeah, yeah," the King rolled his eyes. "Do you have a beer in this place? I need a drink."  
"Uh, no. I'm a vegetable," said the Dragon's Keeper.  
"Vodka is made from potatoes," explained the King.  
"So, you want potatoes?" asked the Dragon's Keeper.  
"No, I want vodka or beer," pouted the King like a cute baby. "Me want vodka or beer! Me want vodka or beer!"  
The Dragon's Keeper sighed. "Fine," he magically gave the King a beer while the Dragon facepalmed.  
The King took the bottle and smirked. "Thanks, dude," he began drinking it.  
Then, a crashing sound came from the roof and everyone looked up to see the Knight and the unicorn coming into the castle.  
"MY CASTLE!" screamed the Dragon's Keeper. "YOU RUINED MY CASTLE, YOU BIG MEANIE-HEAD!"  
"Oops, sorry," said the Knight. "I came to save the King."  
The King was awwing at the handsome and sexy Knight while drinking his beer. "Duuuuuuuuudddddddeeeeeeee! You're hot."  
The Dragon's Keeper didn't like how this stranger came into his castle to take his prisoner. That's stealing! "No, you don't," yelled the Dragon's Keeper. "This is MY prisoner and I kidnapped, not yours!" he hissed and pointed at the Knight. "Dragon, attack!"  
The Dragon yawned before going to bed. "Goodnight."  
The Dragon's Keeper saw this and was mad. "Dragon, get your lazy butt up and attack!"  
"Naw, dude. I'm a sleepy dragon today," the Dragon went to sleep.  
The Dragon's Keeper was sad and began to cry. "This is no fair! I wanted to be evilest, and it's not going to plan!" The King and the Knight felt bad for the Dragon's Keeper.  
"Dude, you are the evilest person in the Kingdom," the King cheered him up. "You kidnapped me and gave me squid beer."  
"Yeah, and your castle is amazing," smiled the Knight.  
The Dragon's Keeper stopped crying and looked at the men. "Really? You think so?"  
The King nodded. "Yeah, dude. Here," the King pulled out a golden guitar from his cape and gave it to the Dragon's Keeper. "This guitar is from the gods themselves."  
The Dragon's Keeper awed and took it. "Thwank you!" he began playing the guitar.  
The Dragon woke up and frowned. "What about me? May I have something, too?"  
"What do you want?" asked the Knight.  
The Dragon blushed. "I want a mate." The unicorn nodded and whistled for another pretty pink unicorn to come over and to the Dragon. "Thank you so much!" the Dragon smiled and kissed the new unicorn.

Back at the Kingdom, the Knight and the King got married and lived happily ever after.

THE END

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moon Shadow closed the book and smiled at the men. "That's my story. What do you think?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did my best to write out each word from the episode. Hope you like it.

Moon Shadow smiled as the sun hit her face in the playground a few blocks across from the news station. A few of the female and male Klokateers were watching the 4-year-old in the park. Moon Shadow asked a female Klokateer to help her climb the monkey bars when a rustle in a large bush was a camera staring at the toddler.  
Moon Shadow raced up the stairs to go down the slide. Her giggles filled the air as other kids around her age joined her on the fun.  
"Let's play tag," the toddler smiled at her new playmates. "The swings are safety, okay? Not it!"  
"Not it!" a girl yelled.  
"Not it!" another girl giggled.  
"Not it!" a boy shouted.  
"I'm it!" a boy with blue overall smiled, and all the kids began running away.  
Moon Shadow raced toward a bush to hide but spotted a woman with a camera behind it. "What are you doing, lady?"  
The woman with the camera jumped in scared and cleared her throat before aiming the camera at the toddler. "What's your name, dear?"  
"Daddy said that strangers are dangers and to kick their butts," the 4-year-old answered before pointing at the camera. "Are you taking pictures of me? I know that I'm pretty, but that's creepy. I'm going to tell daddy's bodyguards on you." With that, Moon Shadow ran to the Klokateers while the woman with the camera left in a hurry. "Excuse me," Moon Shadow said to the Klokateers while pointing to the bush. "There's a lady with a camera in that bush taking pictures of me." The male Klokateers took note and chased after the stranger.  
"Tag, you're it!" yelled the boy with the blue overall as he touched Moon Shadow's shoulder with a giggle.  
"Hey!" Moon Shadow smiled and ran after the boy. "I'm going to get you!" Moon Shadow stopped running when she spotted her daddy coming up to her. "DADDY!!!!" she raced toward Pickles and jumped into his arms. "Daddy, I make friends. See?" She pointed to the toddlers with a smile.  
"Great job, Moony. Can you goodbye to your new friends?" said Pickles.  
Moon Shadow nodded and went over to the children. "I got to go, everyone. I had fun. Goodbye, everyone," she waved to them before running back to Pickles.  
Pickles picked the 4-year-old up and carried her to the limo. "Moony, I hate to say this, but I think you'll like to meet daddy's side of the family."  
"I got more family?" the toddler raised a brow, and Pickles nodded. "Wowee! I learned that word from Toki because he's my baby friend."  
"Yeah," Pickles didn't sound excited like the toddler was. He was pissed that he has to introduce his princess to his deadbeat family.

~~~

"Dethklok's parents have been uncovered and are visiting," Senator Stampingston announced to The Tribunal. "This could be devastating."  
"What do we have on the families?" asked General Crozier.  
"From Tomahawk, Wisconsin we have Pickles' parents: Calvert and Molly with older brother Seth, a recently released convict. From Victory Gardens, the premier armed forces retirement community in Florida: Rose and Oscar Explosion," Senator Stampingston explained. "She's the once lovely Miss Sweden 1956, the brave single mother whose neglect helped form the world's fastest guitarist: Serveta Skwigelf. And the curious and rather off-beat grandparents who raised William after the tragic murder-suicide of his parents: Stella and Thunderbolt Murderface."  
"What's the wagon for?" General Crozier raised a brow.  
"MASSIVE stroke," replied Senator Stampingston.  
"I see," murmured General Crozier.  
Senator Stampingston continued. "And last but not least, from an abandoned village near Lillehammer, Norway, Anja and the Reverend Aslaug Wartooth."  
"I see the families reunite," Cardinal Ravenwood gasped. "I see father killing son. In the end, there's ultimate brutality."  
"This may be the answer we've been waiting for," General Crozier said. "This could rip them apart."  
"Yes, but gentlemen, take a look at the screen for we may have another issue," Senator Stampington spoke as the screen showed a still-imaged of Moon Shadow playing on the monkey bars with one of the female Klokateers helping her. "It appears that one of the Dethklok members has a child."  
"What do we know about her?" General Crozier questioned.  
"It's a possibility that she may be Pickles' child as it shows him holding her at a funeral with Dethklok," Senator Stampington told as the screen showed Pickles and Moon Shadow in black at the toddler's mother's funeral.  
"Whose funeral was it?" Cardinal Ravenwood asked.  
"A New York police officer killed in the line of duty, Pepper Johnston," the screen showed Pepper Johnston in her police uniform as Stampington went on. "From our sources, Pepper had a daughter named Moon Shadow Elizabeth."  
"I see death in this child's future," Cardinal Ravenwood's eyes widened. "I see powers greater than all within her."  
"We will allow the darkness to unfold," Mr. Salacia announced.

~~~~~~~~~

Back at Mordhaus, Moon Shadow hid behind Pickles' legs as Pickles, unfortunately, introduced his family to his daughter. The 4-year-old didn't like the way that the new strangers were staring at her. She knew that she was pretty, but she didn't like their stares.  
"Where's her mother?" asked Molly to Pickles.  
"Her mother went to Heaven on Halloween last year," answered Pickles. "Her mom was a fallen New York police officer."  
"Daddy," Moon Shadow whimpered in fear.  
Pickles turned around and knelt before the toddler. "Hey, it's okay. They're not strangers. Daddy knows them. You can talk to them, it's okay, Moony."  
Moon Shadow frowned and ran away to kneel beside Toki who was on the floor. "This is my baby friend, Toki," she explained to everyone. "He's my friend ONLY! If someone says that Toki is their friend, then I beat them up until they can't move," Moon Shadow smiled and clapped her hands. "Right, Toki?" She waited for his answer, but he didn't reply due to his frozen state. "Don't make me kiss you, Toki. Answer me." She sighed after a few seconds before going over to her other grandparents and uncle. "He's sleeping."  
"Awe, my adorable little niece!" smiled Seth as he knelt with his arms wide opened. "Come and give your uncle a hug."  
Moon Shadow studied Seth for a moment. "You're ugly," she walked away and climbed onto Pickles' lap on the chair. Pickles' eyes widened in shock and bit his lip to stop himself from laughing at his daughter's words. "Daddy, are you reading the newspaper? I read newspapers, too. I like reading."  
The Dethklok members were talking, but Moon Shadow didn't understand what they were getting at. She was trying to read the words in the newspaper that her daddy was holding.  
"Eh, you're right," agreed Nathan, and he turned to the families standing right next to him. "So, what do you feel like eating?"

~~~~~

In the burger joint called Burzums, Moon Shadow was sitting on Pickles' lap having a cup of milk and listening to this Uncle Seth talking about strange things. Everyone was talking about something to the band. Moon Shadow raised a brow at the blonde lady touching Nathan's father, and Skwisgaar playing with his guitar so madly. The toddler thought that the lady was fixing Nathan's dad's shirt. Moon Shadow leaned forward to see Toki still staring at nothing before looking back at Murderface's grandparents and waving at his grandmother.  
"Oh, what a manner, little one," smiled Stella. "William, where are my great-grandchildren?"  
"Seriously?" asked Murderface with an eye roll.  
The 4-year-old stared up at Pickles, who she saw was getting pissed by the second. The toddler sat her cup down on the table.  
"Daddy, I got to go potty" she whined.  
"Yeah, I gotta pee-pee," Murderface announced as well.  
"Yeah, me too!" Nathan agreed.  
"Yeah, that's for sure!" Skwisgaar nodded. Toki was in complete silence.

~~~~~

Moon Shadow held Pickles' hand as they entered the men's restroom.  
"I AM GONNA LOSE MY MIND! MY PARENTS JUST BRAG AND BRAG ABOUT MY BROTHER!" yelled Pickles to Murderface as the toddler ran to one of the stalls and closed the door to use the toilet. "'Oh, he's in a room above the garage!'" he mocked in a high-pitched voice before returning to the yelling tone. "BIG DEAL, HE'S AN EX-CON!" Pickles reached into his pocket and pulled out his inhaler to use. He breathed into the object and panted to calm himself down. "I haven't used one of these things in like 15 years."  
Moon Shadow finished her duty and exited the stall as Nathan slammed the door open while entering along with Skwisgaar. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"  
Moon Shadow looked at the wall so she wouldn't see the men's private parts. "This whole thing gives me a case of my stomachs throw-up!" announced Skwisgaar as he went over to the urinals.  
"What are you worried about?" asked Murderface to Skwisgaar. "Your mom seems cool."  
"She was the most prosqueeminous womens in Sweden," explained Skwisgaar. "Had sex with everybody! Pffft! Thanks, mom!"  
Moon Shadow sighed while listening to the men. "Daddy, I'm done with potty!"  
"Okay, I'm coming," Pickles walked over to the toddler, and lifted her into his arms. He went over to the sinks to help her with washing her hands.  
"The fact that my parents had sex in order to create me makes me want to be buried alive," Nathan spoke in the mirror.  
"What's sex, Nate-Nate?" asked the 4-year-old.  
"A thing that you're super too young to know about," Pickles answered for Nathan, and Moon Shadow pouted.  
"My grandma has an odor that's so very wrong, and she wants me to buy that bastard a wheelchair. SHE WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT!" growled Murderface.  
"Why do we make it so hard on ourselves? We'll just solve it like any other problem!" Pickles said as he set Moon Shadow down while the toddler dried her hands.  
"Shake it off, shake it off," she sang with a giggle as she shakes her wet hands into the air.  
"Of course!" Murderface thought. "We have them put to sleep!"  
"No, we'll lie! We'll lie through our teeth and throw money at them! We'll buy that bastard a wheelchair, take them to miniature golf, or whatever the fuck people do. We'll pretend we're interested in what they're asking, and when that weekend's over, we'll ship them outta here, never to be seen again," Pickles described. "Deal?"  
The Dethklok stared at each other before Murderface spoke up. "Okay."

~~~~

Moon Shadow smiled as Pickles sat in one of the Mordhaus' hairstylist chairs. She thought that her daddy was getting new hair, and she was going to do it by herself. The toddler's smile faded when she saw Molly holding a pair of small scissors, and began trimming Pickles' nose hair.  
"But I was going to do daddy's hair," she spoke, but Molly didn't hear the child. Moon Shadow pouted before mumbling. "Dumb, ugly, bitch."

~~~~

Moon Shadow sat in Pickles' lap at the movie theatre. She was eating her small bag of popcorns and holding her cup of water. The parents picked a movie called Summer Lake to watch. To the toddler, it was boring, and too many kissing in it. She rather watched her daddy snoring than this movie.

~~~

Moon Shadow was happy that she was getting to play golf with her daddy and Dethklok. She had no idea what golf was or how to play it, but it had a stick and a ball. The toddler skipped over to a mini house and knocked on the roof.  
"Hello?" she waited for someone to answer it, but nothing. "They're not home. Okay, I'll go." She ran toward Pickles and Nathan and saw Seth bothering her daddy. "Hey, you!" she pointed to Seth. "My daddy is TRYING to hit the ball so shut up, you ugly, big nose, dildo!" Nathan chuckled at the toddler's words.  
Pickles putted the ball. "Why don't we talk about this cool stuff when I come over and visit next weekend? Uh, sorry about Moon Shadow. She's going to that toddler phase. Moony, say sorry to Uncle Seth."  
Moon Shadow frowned and looked up at Nathan before going back to her daddy and Seth. "I'm sorry, Uncle Seth."  
"That's okay. She's a sweet and adorable kid," smiled Seth. "Love her with all my heart. Yeah, I'm into that. You just tell me, where, and, when. You send me a plane ticket, send me an e-ticket."  
"I'm mad at you, daddy!" Moon Shadow yelled before walking back to the bus. "Big meanies to Moony. Moony is only a big girl and tells no lie. Daddy means to Moony, and Moony loves daddy so much!" She entered the bus and sat down on the sofa to watch some Curious George.

~~~

Moon Shadow was still pouting and still mad at Pickles as she watched Dethklok and him in the living room.  
"TIME TO GO! Time to go! Everyone get packed up... where's the folks? He-heyyyyy," Pickles called out.  
"Oh, it can't comes even faster. I've had this sour stomach ever since my mom has been here," Skwisgaar rubbed his stomach.  
"Toki hasn't said one word," Nathan pointed out while pointing at the statue Toki.  
"Maybe they died in their sleep," Murderface suggested.  
Seth approached Dethklok. "All right, dudes. Can I have a word with you?"  
"Oh, not now bro, we gotta see everybody off for now, for good, to the airport! Guhhh... where are they?" Pickles looked over Seth's shoulder.  
"Okay, here's the deal. Everyone's in the studio, right? We're gonna have a little, hm, you know, pow-wow, you know," answered Seth.  
"In the studio?" asked Nathan with his eyes widened.  
Dethklok followed Seth while Moon Shadow stayed in the living room and sighed. The toddler looked around and sang her ABCs and 123s. A few moments later, she heard screaming coming down the hallway. The toddler jumped off the sofa and hid underneath it. She was scared that the screams were and coming from whom.  
"DADDY!" she began crying in her hiding spot. "DADDY!"  
"Moon Shadow?" the toddler blinked and saw Charles looking under the furniture with a worried look on his face. "Are you okay?" The toddler crawled out of the spot and jumped into the CFO's arms to hug him tightly and cry into his shoulder. Charles rubbed her back and sat down on the cushion. "It's okay. I'm here. Don't worry about the screaming, okay?"  
The toddler nodded but continued to cry. "Scary, Charlie."  
"Yes, I know. The screaming is scary, but don't worry. I'm here," he whispered.


End file.
